Friday, December 23, 2011


I'm really bored. It's 9:20, usually I'd be in bed by now, but I had a nap from 5 until 7:30. I also want to talk to Johnny, and he wont be on for a while. We didn't talk much today, we were both kind of busy.  I think when he does eventually get on, if I'm still up, I'll just get him or call me, or vice versa. That way I can lay in bed while talking. My mom and I went shopping at 2 am last night, so we wouldn't have to deal with the crowds.. I got a pillow and play-doh. We aren't really celebrating Christmas here this year, so those were kind of my presents. XD The pillow is nice and comfy. I'm getting another one for Johnny, but he doesn't quite know yet. I'm also getting him shoes for Christmas. I got my brother, father, grandmother, and father's girlfriend gifts last night.
I'm watching Snow Buddies right now.. XD
I'm getting really tired right now.
Now I'm making noodles and drinking chocolate soy milk.
And I have nothing else to talk about...
I went to Johnny's a few days ago, for three nights. We got along pretty well for the mostpart. On the 4th day, we went to the hospital to have his chest and stomache checked out because it's been bothering him a lot recently. Apparently he has some stomache issue that, by taking a now prescribed medicine, should clear up in a month, which is really good.
I'm still tired. My tongue has been hurting all day. I don't really know why, it was likely something I ate, but I don't know what.
It's almost 10 now... I'm so tired. XD
I guess I'll go now. I have to put dishes away.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

it's been a while...

I don't know how many rats I had last time I posted, I think it was 17, with Ruffles newly here.
Anyways, it's now 21. I got three girls two weeks ago, Nina, Sky, and Kino, they're cute, and 3 and 1 years old.
And now to describe how I got rat number 21, I'm just going to paste what I said to Johnny in a message on facebook last night, because it's long....
I want to tell you about new rat. There is a very good explination though! My mom had to go check Canadian Tire for something, and Rodney isn't home so she asked me to go with her, and I said yes. And she asked me to actually go in the store with her, so I said I would, as long as she took me "just to look" in the pet store. So, we went in and I saw two really cute rats, but one was this little dumbo who looked cute, but really grumpily! So I of course was attached to him. And then these guys came in to buy mice as snake food, and decided to buy a rat too, as food. And they said "get the black one." My Cherrio is black, so I got really scared that they were going to take my boy! And I went in back, and I was shaking, and breathing heavily, I was so scared! So my mom went up to the guys and asked if we could look at the rat to see if it was the grumpy one I liked, and luckily it wasn't. But I had been terrified! So my mom couldn't say no after that, and we got him! I wanted the other black one too that I liked, but she said no. But I got my Cherrio out! And then when we were in the parking lot, we saw those guys again, and they had lost their rat in the parking lot! So it's not even going to get eating by a snake.. I honestly hope it gets hit by a car, rather than freezing or starving to death. And I hope they didn't go in for another rat.. because then two rats would have died, rather than just one.
But my Cherrio is alive. I named his Cherrio because he loves Cherrios even more than Ruffles. He will also live with Ruffles, I introduced them a bit today, but they can't live together just yet, so for now he's in a box. He's really cute and friendly! His back and head are all black, but one white line like Ruffles has going from his forhead to his nose diagonally, but thicker and easier to see. But his tummy is mainly white. XD He also has a very small umbilical hernia, but at that size, I wouldn't worry about it. He's wonderful! And doesn't really look grump anymore, only when I first saw him, but he's still cute, and will hopefully look like that again some time! XD
See, I had to get Cherrio, I almost died because of him. Well, not die, but I was starting to sweat and get really hot and light headed like I was about to faint. Or cry. Either one, really.

Winter break also started yesterday. I'm not celebrating Christmas with my mom this year though, I told her to spend the money she would have spent on my for Christmas on moving, away from her alcoholic boyfriend, so we're moving hopefully mid-January. But I celebrate Christmas twice anyways, since my parents are divorced, so it's not like I'm missing out on anything. And some kids can't even celebrate any year, and I get two Christmases, which makes me seem like a horrible person. My mom said Cherrio was my Christmas present. And besides,Cherrio and moving, is very good, in my eyes, so those are pretty much my Christmas presents.

I'm really tired. And hungry. I was sick last week and didn't sleep good. And there's hardly anything to eat here, because my mom and I haven't gone to get groceries yet.

And about breeding, which I posted before... Harriet with Merlin, and Aubrey with Theodore. In February, so the babies are born during March break.

But, I have nothing else to write about, so I'll go now.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


I'm at Johnny's right now, but he is not here. He went to his neighbors for an hour after being invited over to get high. So I'm staying here and thinking of all the sneaky stuff I could but probably wont do. XD He'll be gone for about an hour. I was supposed to go home tonight, but he asked me if I wanted to stay again tonight and of course I said yes. So I get to miss double english tomorrow (two hours of class presentations) and go in at lunch.
Johnny got the video game Skyrim, which he's been playing a lot. And I've just been on his laptop.
I also planned out some rat breeding. I am breeding Harriet in January to Merlin, and then around February 19th, I'm breeding Aubrey to Theodore, so she will give birth over March break. And then in about a year and a half, one of Aubrey's babies either back to Aubrey, or to Josh. Since apparently it is safe to inbreed rats. I just learned today. And I want a dumbo baby, and Aubrey and Theodore wont produce any, but their baby will when bred to a dumbo. And I wont be breeding Bradley I don't think unless his health seems to improve, and his illness was a one time thing.. I'll watch him and Josh as they get older. I like Bradley's personality better than Josh's, but Josh seems healthier.
Anyways, I don't really have anything else to post right I'll go. bye!

Sunday, November 06, 2011


My laptop broke Friday night. So from now on my posts will be shorter, because I am using my iPod.
Iwas also at johnny's Friday night… it was both good and bad we talked about a lot of stuff, like him cheating and my childhood, which wasn't a very good time in mu life. But we also had some good times too, like watching weird movies. I feel bad for how iam acting now Nd stuff since he cheated but I cahttps ( reAlly that should say can't) help it.. But we both want to move past it. Hopefully things get better soon. He was with friends last might Nd stoped in today after taking one home just to say hi which aS really sweet.
Now I am going to type S fast as I normally would so you can see how horrible it is on an iPod.
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fern gberrrr this is. Realty fun I sjoudl do itlre often I used to cl this s lot o history ads I probably seem like a jgrnoffofp to anyone reaongy blog hopefullytnere zed ko new resign thYmine a
s stung awY! Well this is grttkg stupid Toni sjoudl fo Nd stop doign rios... Ateadfndtkp doing it in public m na bog! Bye!

Wednesday, November 02, 2011


I don't really have much to post about...
I didn't go to school today, because I got annoyed, and cleaned my rat cages in the middle of the night last night, and I was exhausted today.... I know, I'm a rebel.
But, Johnny was also coming over this morning, and was going to stay until I came home from school, so that was always another good reason to stay home...
So I hung out with him all day.
We went Trick or Treating on Monday. I also shaved his face, because he didn't want to look so old while trick or treating. I had a lot more fun than I should have doing that..
I was supposed to be presenting a current event in english today, but I wasn't there... I feel bad, because my class is so busy with presentations, and this is making it harder for us. I'll likely be doing it tomorrow.
I don't really have much else to say...

Friday, October 28, 2011


I haven't posted in a few days...
Last week we got grad photos done in school.. it makes me feel thirty.. XD
I think mine make my face look really fat. But anyways, here's one of them:
It's really grainy, or whatever that word is for all the white fuzzyness, because of the scanner.
You can see my neck tendon really clearly too. XD

Anyways, next topic..

I went to a nearby college/university (it's refered to as both, so I don't know which it actually is) today to talk to a professor about my science fair project for this year. I'm using soil as bedding for rats, and then seeing if it can be put back into the environment, but since it's winter, I'm going to be using it to grow plants instead to see how it works (indoors).

Third topic..

There was a presentation in my Adv. English class yesterday about a business programme offered at the college/university I was at earlier today. It's an International Business programme, which sounds really good and interesting, and gives you 6 months work experience over the 4 years. You also move to The Netherlands for a year for it. It sounds really amazing, and something I'd be interested in. But, then there's my pets and Johnny, if I went, they couldn't go. Well, Johnny could, but he doesn't want to. So I don't know if I'm going to go. If I went Johnny and I'd have to break up, and I don't really want to do that. But I might still apply for 2013, because by then, we could be broken up, or he'd be willing to go there, or stay together while I go.
He had a girlfriend in Brazil (foreign exchange student) who he was planning on staying with until he could go there to see her, or potentially move there, and was staying with her until they could be together, even more than a year long, like not being with other girls or anything, so I think it's total bullshit, that he's refusing to even try to stay together during that year, to be honest. He was younger then, and they weren't even together for very long and she treated him like shit.
It's my life, I should do what I want.

I don't really have much else to say. I'm tired and sleeping all the time pretty much.
I'm going trick or treating with Johnny on Monday.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

4 hours to go..

I just laid down in bed (about 15 minutes ago now), and I was getting all comfy, and ready to fall asleep, when Johnny called.
He's at his friends house, just down the road a bit. He asked if he could come over here for the night to sleep, instead of on the floor there, and I of course said yes.  So now, instead of continuing my happy adventure to dream land, I'm trying to stay up until he gets here, in about 4 hours. (Around 3am..) Haha.
I find it kind of funny... I messaged him offline on Facebook to say good night, and that if he wanted to, he could call to talk or anything. And then 5 minutes after I lay down, he calls. I had assumed he got my message, but he didn't. And now I have to stay awake. I wasn't even tired until I laid down! XD
I was at his house last night! (: So, we get to sleep together two nights in a row, which will be nice. I miss double sleepovers. This is the second since school started, and it's been two months!
Oh, and Johnny and I buried the hamster. That was the second animal he buried this week. His best friends dog passed away earlier in the week.
My mother and I are also moving out. Her and her boyfriend are seperating (finally! It's been like 3 years) we'll be out by December 1st. Hopefully it's not too hard to find a place.
I'm so tired.....
I finished reading the book Wintergirls today. I started on Thursday or Friday. It was really good. In the end, I thought she might actually die, but it's not a book my english teacher would choose for the class, so it has a happy ending.
My english teacher has us read the worst books! Like they're good quality, but so depressing. Last year it was The Kite Runner, this year it was A Fine Balance.
I have a lot of homework to do tomorrow.
I have a Math Assignment, a Physics assignment, a Physics lab, 40 queue cards with facts and proper MLA formatting for sources due on the 27th, and a 20 minute long english presentation due on the 2nd of November.
I don't know what to do to pass the time until Johnny gets here....Which is why I'm kind of rambling on now.
I'm going Trick or Treating with Johnny this year! (: I haven't gone in like 4 years, and after trying on 3 or 4 different days, I finally convinced Johnny to take me. I just have to get us both costumes. I can't eat most of the stuff I'll get, making the people around me very lucky.
I did tell him I might be asleep when he got here... I left my bedroom door unlocked, and the house door unlocked too. So he can just come in on his own..
I might go to sleep, but then I'd feel kind of bad. Though I could easily wake up around 3, because I often do unintentionally...
I don't know, but I'm going to go for now.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Johnny's hamster died.
I didn't know why, so I checked online. Apparently hamsters normally live 2 - 3 years. The hamster was 2 and a half.
I had noticed she hadn't been moving all day, which is normal for her, because she's been really lazy recently. I don't know anything about hamsters, so I didn't know why. I also didn't even know their life span.
About 30 minutes ago, I thought about how she hadn't moved all day, so I went to check to see if she was alive. Before I even touched her, I could feel the coldness radiating off of her. But I still touched her, just to be sure. I didn't want her to be dead. Especially since she was in my care, and I have to tell Johnny about it in an hour when he comes on Facebook to talk. I'm going to ask him if I can call, so I can at least say it with my voice, rather than type it.
I put her in a little box, with a bunch of shavings. If I had cotton balls, I'd give her those too, because she loved cotton balls. I might get some tomorrow if I can. I want to make her a warm little bed to be buried in.
When I picked her up to be placed in the box, I checked to see how she looked. She was already stiff. Luckily, she looked exactly like she was asleep, so there's a good possibilty she passed away while sleeping and didn't suffer or anything.
She was originally Johnny's brothers hamster, and he never took care of her. There were times when we'd play with her, and she wouldn't even have food or water, so we'd give her those. We cleaned out her cage. We played with her. We picked her up. And we cared. He did none of those. And we've only been doing this the last few months, so at least the last few months of her life, she had people how cared about her.
I feel like most people wouldn't get upset over a hamster dying. Because, it's "just" a hamster, it wasn't mine, and I only knew her for a few months. But I still cared about her and liked her a lot. I wish I had known her longer.
Hopefully tomorrow Johnny and I can bury her.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


I don't have much to post today... so I don't even really know why I'm posting. Probably because I'm bored and have nothing better to do. Except English and Physics homework...
In English, we have to do two big projects. A research paper, and a current event. Last year, we did them on two different topics, but this year, we were given a wide range on the kind of topics we could choose, and we could do the same for both topics. I think I'm the only one still choosing two topics. Because I want to do the research paper on rats, but a presentation on rats wouldn't be very good, or cause a good debate. So, I'm doing PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) as my current event. Because they are extremely debateable. I support their good things and ideas, but they have so many stupid and horrible ideas that I don't fully support them as an organization.
I wont get to talk to Johnny until around 11. He messaged me about 15 minutes ago saying he got a new game and wont be on until then. At least he messaged me to tell me. Often when this happens, he wont even tell me, and I'll spend all day waiting for him to come on.
I'm starting to get really tired, so maybe I'll take a short nap. I haven't taken one in like a week, and I usually take them every one or two days..School is exhausting.
I also can't stand any of my friends. Seriously, after school, I wont have like anything to do with them. I'll rant about them, using their initials rather than whole names.
JM: She's a total bitch. She doesn't care about anyone else. When there was an earthquake, and tsunami in Japan, she said they deserved it for hunting whales. I'm vegan, and I still dont think an entire country should have to deal with the consequences. And she always thinks she's right. ALWAYS. And if you argue against her, she gets all defensive and argues back, even when everyone tells her to shut up. She hates everyone, then says it's because they're rude to her. She's a total bitch to them for no reason, of course they'll be rude to her. And, she even puts down her friends and calls them stupid. Like if she gets a higher mark than a friend, they're automatically stupid, and she's smart and amazing. And she thinks she's better than everyone.
BW: He's not rude, or bitchy like JM is. But, he's oblivious, impossible to talk to, and interupts constantly. It's impossible to talk to him, or to talk to someone else when he's around. Or I'll ask him a question, and he will look at me, and then go about doing whatever, completely ignoring it.
VM: She's a lot like JM. She constantly whines and complains about the stupidest and smallest things. And she's a total bitch to everyone. But not her friends, at least. Like, we were on the bus one day, and before I got out of my seat, two other people passed me and got off, and she said I shouldn't have let them "cut infront of me" and then glared at them until one of them looked back, and looked like she then felt awkward. Seriously... it meant waiting like 3 extra seconds, over something so small and pointless, and she acts like a 9 year old over it. She too hates everyone, and says everyone's mean to her, but she acts like a 9 year old and complains over everything. She hates them and treats them like shit. There's one girl in my grade, who really cares about her grades, and one day last year in math, she was worrying when we were getting a test back about how she was doing, outloud to her friends, and this friend got pissed off, and after class went on about it, and mimicked her in a stupid voice. This has nothing to do with her, so she should be able to ignore it, and continue with HER life, rather than saying how much she hates this girl for worrying about her academic life to her friends.

Those are mainly my only friends in school. And my cousin, who does say lots of stupid things, give stupid ideas, zone one in the middle of me saying something, and sometimes makes it sound like she knows more about rats than me, and gives me advice, which I definately don't need. She annoys me a lot too when she does this stuff, but its'not near as often as the others, who are like that 85% of every day.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Got a new rat today!

His name is Ruffles. I didn't name him. But I'm keeping his name as it is. He's around 6 months old. He's still pretty shy. But he's so adorable! He came with a nice big cage too. I don't have any photos yet, because of him being shy.
I'm really exhausted and I don't know why. I am most days, but not always this much!
I really need to pee. But my mothers boyfriend (or ex, I don't even know) is in the shower. I say maybe ex, because she said we got a new rat cage today (we didn't even mention that a rat came with the cage) and he said he was moving out. It's pretty pathetic when you decide to move out over a cage. But then again, he's pathetic. He's an alcoholic. Constantly complains about my rats, who he has NOTHING to do with. He doesn't even have to see them. But "he's the man of the house, so he's in charge" So, no rats can be in a room he never goes in, because he dislikes them. I dislike alcohol. Get that out of the fucking house. Seriously. I hope he gets liver cancer. I'm sick of him, by far.
Anyways.. Johnny hasn't been on Facebook to talk to yet today, and I miss him. I always miss him, but I haven't talked to him since last night, so I really miss him!
I don't really forgive him for cheating though. I don't think I ever will. And I try not to, but I do hold it against him. I think about it constantly, but never tell him. I get mad about it all the time. I don't want to be mad at him, or hate him or anything. But, it's hard for my personality not to. Ever since finding out, we argue and disagree and stuff more. And I know that's why. We aren't like we used to be. Things are going amazing, and bad at the same time. And he hardly knows about the bad part. If I talk about it, then it could easily get worse, so I don't want to talk to him about it. And it wouldn't make things better or anything.
Honestly, if it weren't for that incident, I'd say we have a 95% perfect relationship. But with the cheating, it's like 65%.
But I want to stop talking about that. I went to see my friend Brandon while he was working today. I got a bottle of pop. I was too nervous to go in the store alone, so my mom had to come with me. haha.
But my friends annoy me really often too, so... I don't know. Everyone in my life has done something to make me dislike them.

Sunday, October 16, 2011


Well, I'm not longer sick.
Tomorrow after school, I'm going to look at a rat someone has to find a new home for. It's not too far from where I live.
The TV just said 'The fish in the hat' but it honestly sounded more like 'The bitch in the hat'. My mouth dropped, because this is a kids channel. XD
I don't have much to say... but hey, I'm posting again soon!
I did not do any homework this weekend...
Johnny might be coming over for a bit some day this week. He's going to a friends house, who lives not far from me. And he said he'd be here for a bit. (:
I have 2 hours of Physics and then an hour of math tomorrow morning....
And a test in Physics.
I got 5 week marks on Friday.. I have a 44% in Physics, 51% in Math, and a 93% in Adv. English..
Anyways, I'll go now. Bye.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's been under two weeks since I last posted!

I'm getting pretty active again!....not really....
Well... I have a cold. ):
I only had school Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday this week, due to Thanksgiving, and an inservice. But I have yet to go this week. I'm being forced to go tomorrow, even if I'm still sick.
But, afterwards, Johnny's coming over for the night. (:
I don't know if I mentioned this in my last post.... but I have 4 new rats. Aubrey, Josh, Brooke, and Bradley. They're around 6 weeks old. Aubrey and Brooke are in with the big girls. But Josh and Bradley aren't going in with my big boys until they are big themselves...and they're sick. They have colds, but it's nothing too serious. Brooke has a lump on her tummy. And umbilical hernia... so, a pocket of fat pretty much. When she's old enough, I'm getting it removed, because there's a chance of intestine getting stuck in it and killing her, and I'm not risking it.
I had my cousin over for the night one night, to see the new babies, and Johnny ended up coming over for the night too. He slept on the floor. XD We went to Subway (his choice) and a grocery store, a pet store, and a park, twice (all my choice...) We also watched two scary movies... Devil and I forget the other one. But a guy set a bunch of traps in a house and a family and a burgular who had renovated their house and their cat were trapped inside. Both movies scared me of course. During Devil the only scary scene I actually saw, was the scariest scene of them all.. of course...
Oh, and I didn't mention this earlier, but the new rats brings my total to 16. <3
One day last week, Johnny actually said he missed me, because we don't get to see eachother as much. I'm usually the one to say this, and he usually calls me clingy, so it was nice when he actually said it for once...he's so clingy.... (that was a joke.) He's been pretty sweet and nice (and horrible at the same time) recently. Horrible as in scaring me and tickling me. But he's been nicer and sweeter than normal, which I like.
Anyways, my life is dull and boring...
OH! A girl is missing in a nearby town, so I should say something on that, since everyone's trying to spread the word....
I was going to upload a picture, but for whatever reason, cannot even save one to my computer... so, here's a link instead (lots of pictures there)....

Anyways... bye.

Saturday, October 01, 2011


On Thursday and Friday I got two new rats (each day). So, four in total. They're like between 3 - 7 weeks old, so really young. Possibly too young. I'm feeding them cat food to make up for it though.
I'll make another post, all about them.
Brooke, one of the two girls has a lump on her tummy. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I'm hoping it's just a cyst. It's likely just not a tumor, since she's so young. I didn't notice until after I bought her, but even if I had noticed before I bought her, I'd have probably still bought her.
Johnny went with me both times to buy them all. He actually paid for one of the second two. And he named Brooke.
On the way back from getting them, he said when we're older, I should get my tubes tied, and we can just have a bunch of pets instead. I'm totally down for that. But I'd feel bad for my mom, because she loves kids and I'm her only child. XD
I'm hoping to get her into the vet on Friday.
Johnny had also recently taken his brothers hamster into his room, because no one else ever paid attention to it at all. But, when he got back home from being at a friends house and mine today, he discovered the hamster was missing. But he has no idea how it got out of it's cage. It's really sad. Johnny has 3 cats, so he thinks it's likely dead. But I like to have at least a little hope that she's still alive somewhere in their house..
I feel really bad for him. He really liked the hamster and tried to hard to become friends with it.. I hope he finds it. ): If not, I want to see if Johnny will at some point get a new hamster. He was really good with the hamster.
I'm always tired, which effects my school work. I have a LOT to do tomorrow, along with seeing Johnny for a bit. And I have a Physics test on Monday. I may fail.
Anways, in general life is pretty good I guess. School sucks for the most part. If it weren't for school, and Johnny's hamster wasn't missing, life would be pretty amazing right now.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I haven't posted in forever...

'Here's the last little while of my life in point form:
  1. School started Sept. 6th.
  2. Sarah (Dani, the bitch I hate) was in my sociology class, but switched out, but also switched into my english class. >:(
  3. Because of school, I don't get to see Johnny like 4 or 5 days a week anymore. ):
  4. Yesterday he was over for a few hours, and like 10 minutes before he had to go, I started crying because I miss him. XD
  5. My rat Philis is sick. ):  But she has medicine, so she should get better hopefully soon.
  6. First semester I have Adv. English 12, Sociology, Physics 11, and a prep.
  7. Second semester I have Math 12, Agrifoods, Adv. Biology 12, and Physics 12.
  8. In November, my english class is going to see a Jungle Book play at an acting theater, not a movie.
  9. I am always tired from school.
  10. Philis has been keeping me up the last three nights in a row, so I'm even more tired.
And that's pretty much it I think....

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I just got home from Johnny's today after being with him for three nights. I kind of wanted to come home, but only because I missed my cats and rats. I could have spent another night, but both my mother and Johnny worked tomorrow, so it was a lot easier to just come home today.
When I was last home, I tried making a hammock for the girl rats, which they have not used. Then, I had to take the wooden shelves out of the boys cage, because wood absorbs pee... so I had given them other things to hopefully help them with having fun and playing. I even gave them a wheel. They sleep under the wheel, and pee inside of it. So tomorrow, I am going around the house and finding a bunch of new things for both rat cages.
I bathed my cat Care today, to try to get rid of fleas. Which is weird, because my cats are indoor cats, and wear flea collars... but the collars clearly aren't working. And the shampoo wasn't working too well either. Maybe on the weekend I will get my mother to help with bathing the cats.
I think I go back to school on the 6th. I'm really dreading it, because I don't want to be near Sarah, who has recently been coming up in my suggested friends on Facebook a lot. Shouldn't they not come up if their blocked? I'm pretty sure I blocked her....
Whenever I see something on my newsfeed including her, I have to delete the entire thing or it will bother me. I hope she isn't in any of my classes....
Going back to school will also suck because I will have to cut back from seeing Johnny like 5 days of the week, to well, not near as much. ): It's going to be hard to get used to.
Johnny said he misses coming over here for the night, so I think maybe he will now be coming over here more often, at least a little more. And probably even more when school starts, because it would be easier that way.
I have to go get some school supplies this weekend.

Friday, August 19, 2011


I'm really bored. I just got home from my cousin's house from staying there last night to see their new kitten. Since I had been at Johnny's for four night's before that, I brought my rat Harriet with me, since I hadn't seen her in 5 days. I hadn't seen any of the rats or cats in 5 days, but I could only take one, and Harriet is the most social.
Johnny's birthday was Wednesday. His friend Ben came over and we just played Super Mario for most of the day.
He had been going out of his way to hide his texts the last few days, and seemed more distant, so eventually I just asked why. I had been planning on taking his cell phone in the middle of the night and going to the washroom to read his texts...even though I don't know how to use a cellphone. I didn't want to sneak around like that, but I of course jump to the worst and assumed he was either going to break up with me or was going to cheat on me. I knew he was texting a girl, that I'm pretty sure likes him, named Victoria. But, when I asked him, he said nothing was wrong, and asked if I wanted to read his texts. XD After that I felt like nothing was wrong. I know I worry too much, but I'm still going to.
The last two times I've been home after being at Johnny's I've been more bored than usual, becuase I'm used to being with him, so when I'm here, I don't know what to do. It's going to suck going back to school....
Especially because I can't switch schools because of the Europe trip. Which means I have to go to the same school as Dani for the next year. I honestly don't know if I'll be able to handle it. It's really stressing me out.
I don't really know what else to talk about. There's a lot I could say, but most isn't really important... so I wont bother.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011


Today's my birthday. And my mother's birthday.
But, we aren't celebrating.
Last night Rodney, my mother's now ex-boyfriend, was drunk like usual, and got mad over the electricity, and the animals, which he has nothing to do with, but still hates. He was going around and turning on every electrical device in the house, because he was mad about the power bill....which makes no sense, he's only making it worse. And he'll be alone to pay for it.
Anyways, after that, he said my mother had to get out of "his house." Though they both pay for it, it's in both names. He has control issues. Of course we already knew we were leaving. After that, he  lost the chord to his camera, and spent like an hour yelling at my mother that she took it, which she obviously wouldn't do; that's just stupid. And telling her to find it, because he got drunk and lost it. A while later, he shut off all of the power in the house. My mother got him to turn it back on "but only for half an hour" as he said, though it was really only like 10 minutes. My mother tried calling the cops during this time, to have him escorted out of here, but he shut the power off before she talked to an officer. So, she put me and all of the cats in my room, and I locked the door while she went to the neighbors and called the cops again from there.
He turned the power back on once he found out the cops were coming, and then left for the night with a friend. If he had have come back last night again, he'd have gone to jail.
But he was allowed back this morning, and of course came back.
And he has more alcohol to just get mad again tonight.
But my mother found a place to stay with a friend for a month until we find a place to live on our own. And we're going to be packing the next few days and probably be finished moving by Saturday/Sunday.
Johnny's coming over later to take me to go get boxes to use to pack, because Rodney took the keys to the truck, so we can't use it.
We also need to find someone with a truck that we can use on the weekend to move everything.
We're going to probably be calling the cops again to come by some time to "keep the peace" as we try to move and decide what belongs to who.
He's just really childish and pathetic.
I took my birthday information off facebook so I wouldn't get a bunch of people saying happy birthday, since I spent today finding a place to live, and packing. It hardly feels like my birthday at all.

Friday, August 05, 2011


I just got home from Johnny's about an hour ago. Originally I was supposed to come home yesterday, but when we came here, my mom said she was having guests over, and didn't want me here. She was going to call my aunt to see if I could go there, but I didn't want to, so I went back to Johnny's for another night. I shouldn't have really been there in the first place though, because my mother and her boyfriend were out of town for Monday and Tuesday, and wanted me to stay home to watch the house. But, on Monday night, I found four earwigs in my bed, and I'm terrified of them, so I left my room, attempted to pull an all-nighter in the living room, but fell asleep under a damp towel from 7am - 10 am. I was under a damp towel because I didn't trust the blanket in my room, and most of the other blankets in the house are made up of frabics that for whatever reason really bother me. They make me feel sick and stuff. XD Johnny was going to pick me up around 7am, but luckily he slept in, because I had fallen asleep. I tried calling around 11 - 11:30, and he never answered, but a few minutes later he called back and said he was on his way then. So we went to his house and I messaged my mother saying where I was. But she never got the message, so my cousin messaged Johnny Tuesday night asking where I was, so I went on Facebook and messaged my mother again. She wasn't mad that I left when I shouldn't have, because of the earwigs. Which was good.
Johnny and I are supposed to be hanging out again on Tuesday, because that's my birthday and I wanted to hang out with him.
And then I go back to school in about a month....I really don't want to. Because it will mean less Johnny time, and my sleeping habits have been messed up again for a few months, so I'll be exhausted in school. They started in June, a while before school ended.
I think Johnny had said he'd take me school supply shopping, but he probably forgot, it was quickly said in passing in June. I like school supply shopping, but I hate school.
Johnny was talking about how whenever his parents moved to another province, he might move up there too. He wants to I think. At first I was scared, because it's another province, and we'd be far away. But, he said if he did move, he'd want me to go with him. Which, I'd definately do. Even though I'm young. It's legal. I'd just have to come back and visit my mother a lot or she'd go insane. And he'd only move there for a few years and then come back here. I wouldn't decide to live there, I'm happy here, but if he were going there, I'd want to go just to be with him.
I was possibly going to be babysitting for my father tonight, watching Oliver. But luckily I ended up not having to. I'd like to see Oliver, but I don't like sleeping in that house at all. Johnny said I should sleep in Oliver's room with him, but Oliver doesn't sleep with a night light, and I do. So that wouldn't work out right.
Anyways, I'm going to stop talking now...

Sunday, July 31, 2011


Johnny was here last night for the night, well to sleep. I woke up at 4:00 this morning and went on Facebook to see if he was on to talk to because I couldn't sleep. He was at his friends house, so I assumed he'd be awake still. And he was. We talked until 6:00 and then he decided to come here to sleep, so he didn't have to sleep on the floor or something. He usually comes here to sleep when he's there. He hasn't slept here in a really long time. He feels more comfortable sleeping at his house, so we always hang out there now. He's hardly even been here in over a month; maybe 4 times. I don't mind though. Every time we hang out now, it's for the night, and it's always for at least two nights in a row. Ever since we hung out for two nights for the first time, we've been together more. Even more after being together for 5 or 6 days straight. I like seeing him more, and it feels like we're getting a lot closer. He seems to want to be in a relationship a lot more now, and that he's happy in it and stuff.
All I've really been doing all summer is hanging out with Johnny. I house-sat for my aunt and uncle a few weeks ago for the weekend.
I got The Sims 3 yesterday. But I don't think I'll be playing too much. Mainly at Johnny's so we can talk and I can play at the same time.
Other than that, not much has changed, and nothing interesting is happening.
But I'd say my life is pretty great right now. Except I'm still always tired.

Friday, July 22, 2011


I haven't posted in a while. I've either been busy with Johnny or exhausted.
I'm house/pet-sitting for my aunt and uncle this weekend. So, for the most part, I'm at their house alone the entire time. One of my cousin's (Ali) brothers stayed behind, and he's here every once in a while. But he's 14 or so, so he's mostly always gone with his friends being "cool." 
They're here right now... barbequing steaks....Well, at least the can fend for themselves.
Things have been really great with Johnny recently, which I love. We've been hanging out so much more now. I was with him for three nights (18th, 19th, and 20th) and we may be hanging out again on Monday. He was going to come see me here on Saturday, but my father may be coming by some time this weekend, to see I'm actually here (he thinks I'm lying) My aunt had said it was okay if Johnny came over though.
The 18th was one year since Johnny and I first kissed. So that was pretty good I guess.
I hadn't thought I'd be very happy about it, after knowing he cheated, but I was still happy....
I got him addicted to the show Criminal Minds, so we've been watching that together a lot.
Anyways.. I'll finish the Challenge thing later hopefully. I'm still quite exhausted.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Days 17 - 23

Day 17 - Is there anything you would you like to change about yourself?
Day 18 - Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
Day 19 - If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
Day 20 - Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
Day 21 - Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
Day 22 - How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
Day 23 - Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years

Day 17 - A lot of stuff. Appearence, less awkward/shy, smarter, etc.   
Day 18 - I actually don't know any of them that well..
Day 19 - Johnny's house, to play a game with him because he wanted me to play with him, but I had to come home today because I had a doctors appointment.
Day 20 - A lullaby. I've been sleepy and lazy.
Day 21 - I was just bored, so I chose it randomly.
Day 22 - They probably either see me as shy, weird, or intimidating. Those are the words I know of that strangers have used to describe me.. XD
Day 23 - Month: Spend time with Johnny, sell baby rats.
Year: Finish high school, figure out where I'm living, and how to get a petstore going.
Three years: Open a petstore.
Five years: Be running a petstore. Hopefully still with Johnny...

Wednesday, July 06, 2011


The last few days that I spent with Johnny were really good.
He came over Thursday night, spent the night. Went his friends on Friday, came back and spent the night. Went to his friends on Saturday, came back and took me to the party, dropped me off at home, went back to his friends, then came back and spent the night, then went to his friends Sunday, came back and took me to his place for the night. On Monday, he dropped me off at my fathers and picked me up again that night, and I spent the night with him. I spent all day Tuesday with him, and went home around 9:10. It feels weird sleeping alone again.
At the party, it was fine most of the time. I'm shy, so I didn't say much. A kind of mutual friend, Ben was there, so it wasn't too bad. But the adults that were there kept asking me if I wanted to talk to the other kids, or sit down when Johnny'd band was playing. No. I do not want to talk to people who I hardly know, or have anything in common with, and if I wanted to sit down, I wouldn't be standing. And one guy, kept saying that I didn't have to worry about anyone touching me (sexually)....I know I don't have to worry about that. Because if someone did try to touch me, who is not my boyfriend, I would hurt them. I don't care that I'm shy, and look weak, I'm good at punching, and I'm relentless until stopped. In this case by Johnny. So, even if someone touched me, I'd deffinately being touching them back, just harder, and with a fist, or a chair or something.
Some people are so weird. And annoying. I'd say I was fine standing alone or watching Johnny play. So I am. The only thing wrong was the people annoying me, and constantly trying to make me lighten up and smile, telling me I don't need to worry about sexual assult, and that I can sit down.
I still liked it though, more so when Johnny was around, so no one bothered talking to me much.
And, when I went to my fathers, I was supposed to be going for the night, and he wasn't supposed to be there. But, he ended up being there. I felt sick and out of place and didn't want to be there, so I told Johnny on msn, and he offered to come pick me up again later.
I told my father that Johnny was going by and would take me home, so I didn't have to get up early the next morning, which I would have, and because I don't like sleeping there (it scares me there...) He of course didn't believe me. Even if that were the truth, he wouldn't have believed me. He never does. He asked if I should call my mother to tell her I was coming home early, and I said I didn't have to. I live with my mother, I don't need to call to say I'm coming home. But of course, after I left, he called her, not to see if I got there safely or anything, only to try to prove that I was lying. He doesn't care about my safety. Then he told my mother, he only let me go, because he didn't want an incident like last time (last July we had a physical fight, and I left in the middle of the night and didn't talk to him for months). Which is fucking stupid. He's my father, but I don't live with him. He has no control over what I do. I was a guest at his house, if I want to leave, I can. And, if he tries to stop me, it's kidnapping.
I absolutely hate seeing him. I only went there, because I thought he wouldn't be there.
I'm sick of him. I wish he's just fuck off and stay out of my life.
I don't care that he's "my father." He's my father  through DNA, nothing else. He's just the sperm donor, really.
He's an asshole.
It was nice staying with Johnny for such a long time though.

Day 16

Day 16 - What are you passionate about?
Uhh.. Johnny and animals I guess. Not much else.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011


I've been with Johnny for the last few days, since Thursday I think. I'm really tired, so I'm not posting a regular post tonight, and I'll talk about the last few days tomorrow.
My wrist is also really sore, from tying knots for 6 hours... I'm pretty sure I have arthritis, since everyone in my family does, but my doctor never does anything about it. She doesn't even check my wrist. She said I had some leg syndrome. Last time I checked, my wrist was not part of my leg.

Days 13, 14, 15.

Day 13 - Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
Day 14 - When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
Day 15 - What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.

Day 13 - Johnny will be with me. Actually, no, just like me, I have no idea where he will be in 10 years. But I hope he's with me! And, if he isn't willinging, he already knows I plan to chain him up in my basement and keep him forever. So, he's either with me, or trapped in my basement. ;)

Day 14 - Talking to Johnny, because he's just amazing. Animals, because they're cute and nice. Cutting, because of some science thingy, and it actually being able to make you happy.

Day 15 - First of all, I believe religion exists, physically. The act of religoin exists. It obviously does, since people believe it and there's books etc.. But, I don't believe any of the religions. If someone wants to believe in one, or that it's true, they can. But I stay away from religion. I believe science. But I have no theories or beliefs as to what happens after death. I'll find out when I die.

Saturday, July 02, 2011


The rats started to chew through the wire mesh on the cage, so I took it off. I was really worried that the babies wouldn't be able to stay in there, because they'd get out, and there is a chance they could. So, I put the cage back in the original box, cut a place for the water bottle, and two corners so once wall folds down. That way, they can't get out of the cage unless they are absolutely desperate.
I felt so bad for Shane when I put the babies back in with their mother until figuring out something to do. Because he was back to being alone and lonely again. But at least I don't have to worry about that now, all the boys are able to stay in the cagre again now.
I tried taking a video on my laptop of the boys playing, but after playing with them for about 15 minutes, I decided to stop. And then I noticed the video hadn't recorded there was no video. And, they were all laying down by the time I noticed, so I couldn't take another video then.
I'm supposed to be going to a  big kid party later. Like, the kind with alcohol and drugs and stuff. I will not be doing either of those, I'm just going to watch Johnny's band play, and then probably follow him around like a lost child, and try to be kind of social... I was going to get my mother to drive me there, but she wont be home. But, since it's just up the rode, Johnny said he could pick me up if she couldn't take me there, and he was already planning on driving me back home.
Johnny is thinking about taking two of the baby rats (girls). It would be great if he did. Because he'd take Phillis, the one I was going to be keeping, and also her best friend. They're both really shy, and I don't want them seperated, and I want to be able to see them, so with him would be great.
Either way, there's 3 or 4 pairs to find homes for. 3, if he takes two.
I need to put an ad online soon or something to find homes for the rest. And, I'm going to say, for anyone who gets them, that if ever they no longer want them or something, they can just give/sell them back to me. Because someone might buy them, and then them or their kids never pay attention to them or look after them, so if that happens, they'd be better off back with me, looking for a new home or something.

Day 12

Day 12 - If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
Johnny. Because whoever it was would see me naked, and I don't want anyone else seeing me naked. XD

Friday, July 01, 2011

Day 11

Day 11 - Do you feel protective over someone?

I guess. Like, if someone tried to hurt Johnny, or my little brother or cousin or something, I'd try to hurt them. Even if they were a full grown, strong male....
I guess I can be pretty wreckless when it comes to protecting myself in that way. XD

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Day 10

Day 10 - Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
Today was both good and bad. I had to be woken up at 8, to go to school and get my report card. I had to see Dani and not throw my textbook at her face. I was shaking I was so mad...
Anyways, I got 81 in Yoga, 72 in Bio, 67 in Canadian History, 61 in Global History, 75 in English, 45 in Math, and 21 in Chemistry.
I thought I would get like a 9 in Chemistry honestly.... I actually didn't even write the exam...
And, as for math, we dont need Math 11 to graduate, and the teacher never even told us that until it was too late to switch courses. I wouldnt have dropped it if I knew on time.
So, after finally leaving school and hour later, I went and got a new cage for the boy rats with my mother. There were no rat cages, so we got a chinchilla one. And, since the babies are small, I had to rat proof it. It took a total of 7 - 8 hours to put it together, rat proof it, and get it ready for the baby boys and Shane.... 6.5 hours, going towards tying wire mesh stuff to the outside of the cage... Guess who almost went insane today?
Anyways, I put the boys and Shane in, and they're all doing great. They get along well and like their cage. Which, I also require a spoon to open because I'm too weak.
My father stopped in to drop off child money stuff, and my mother was asleep, so I had to answer the door. Well, not answer it, go meet him, since he was already inside. He asked me to baby sit for him Sunday - Tuesday, since he'd be working away for a few days. If he actually does need me to I will, since that will mean seeing Oliver without seeing him hardly at all.
Also, Johnny will be coming over pretty soon, for I'm pretty sure the  night.
So, today started out bad, and got good.
Finishing the cage and putting the rats in it was the changing point, though it was also really sad, because they're growing up too fast! And they might miss Mikey and their sisters, and Mikey and the sisters miss them. And when they leave for good, I'll miss them. ):

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Day 9

Day 9 - Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
I don't see myself anywhere in 10 years. I don't know what's going to happen to my life, so I have no idea where I'll be in 10 years, if I'm even alive. I could easily die within the next 10 years, just like everyone else.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Day 8

Day 8 - Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words "childhood memory"
Once, when I was about 4, my mother was upstairs doing something while I was left downstairs, alone. And, at some point I started calling my mother downstairs to come find me, because I was hiding. So, she came downstairs to come find me, and she looked around all over the house for me, and she couldn't find me, but she was able to hear me giggling... After a while, she eventually found me on top of the fridge. And, where it was located, she doesn't really know how I got up there. I either climbed onto the counter, and then jumped across the 3 or 4 foot space, to get one fridge, or I climbed up the side of the fridge, using the wall to maybe help me, neither of which I should have been able to do.
I think the climbing one makes more sense though, because when I was even younger, like not long after learning to walk good, I was climbing out of my crib all the time.
I got into a lot of trouble as a baby. XD

I only thought of that story first, because Johnny and I had been talking about it when I was over there last.

Monday, June 27, 2011


I haven't really been posting much recently. I've either not felt liek posting, or I've been too busy to post, depending on the day/time.
I was at Johnny's last night, and he was at my house the night before. Things have been really good between us over the last few days, which is kind of surprising, since just last week I was thinking about whether I wanted to stay with him or break up with him...
Last week I found out that while we were techinically broken up, but still together, and trying to work things out, he cheated on me, with Dani. You know, the girl I absolutely hate, want dead, don't trust, ex best friend, the one who ignored him for two months, the girl who was the only problem Johnny and I ever had. Yeah, that one. I was absolutely pissed off at her, and I probably always will. I thought I hated her before... ha! That's nothing compared to how much I hate her now. She was the only one who knew how much I loved Johnny, and she knew we were trying to work things out, but she still did it,
It's not just her that I blame. I blame him for it too. But, it's hard for me to stay mad at him. I'm mostly just upset with him. Really upset. But we talked about it a lot, which helped. And, I have no idea if he cared about me then, but I know he does now. And, you're supposed to put the past behind you, right? And, I don't like giving up, unless I hate the person, and I don't hate him.
I hate being lied to, tricked, and cheated on, that's why I was thinking about breaking up with him.
Since it happened, those two have not hung out in person, and he told me he wouldn't even speak to her again, if it meant making me happy. I never told him whether it would or not, but it obviously would, so he said he'd stop talking to her, 100% his choice.
And, of course I messaged her about it. When she didn't respond, I re-messaged her. And we talked about it a bit, civilly. I still absolutely hate her and want her dead, but murder's illegal. Which, isn't too bad, because if it weren't, I'd probably be dead by now. Dead people don't kill.
I want to hurt her, physically. Johnny doesn't like violence, or want me getting in trouble or anything. I told Nathan, her ex, about it too, and he doesn't want me to beat her up, and then have me look like the bad person. So, I probably wont. Maybe.
When messaging her, I told her about how I could tell all of her friends about everything she's done, and make them all hate her, and I probably could. But I don't know if I will.
I told Nathan, and I told my cousin Ali, who know really dislikes her. They had kind of been friends.
And now Johnny and Ali, my two best and closest friends are away from her, so it's not too bad.
Johnny had been starting to not want to be friends with her anyways.
I know he really regrets it. And, now, he is different, and he cared about me more now than ever before.
I'm still confused, and I'm still upset with him, but I'm not considering breaking up with him anymore.
When I first found out, which was by reading a message between them on Facebook, which he left open when he went to use the washroom, I sat on my bed, wondering if I should even bring it up, because then he'd know I read the message, but I ended up crying, so I couldn't exactly hide that...
He had spent the previous night at my house, and he was supposed to jam with his friends that day, but he cancelled, and took me back to his house for the night.
He's been saying a lot of sweet things recently. I had been wondering if he was saying them because of what happened or because he meant them. But, he now knows that lying, even if the truth is bad, will only make things worse with me, and I asked him if he really meant what he was saying, or if he was just saying it to make me feel better. And, when he says it, he says he wants me to believe him. So, it seems he's telling the truth.
And, since getting back together, he's been trying more in the relationship. We both have been.
With her out of our lives I can hopefully move on and stop constantly thinking about it, and not let it ruin my relationship with Johnny.
I still have more to think about and figure out and everything, of course.
Besides that mistake, he really is a great guy...

Days 5, 6, 7.

Day 5 - Pick a song that projects the same mood as your day or week and explain.
Day 6 - Talk about a recent experience that has effected you greatly and how.
Day 7 - Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?
Day 5 - I don't listen to music enough anymore to think of a song that works for this.
Day 6 - This would be what I was talking about talking about in my last post. I still don't know if I want to talk about it.
Another thing, my couin Ali is taking two of the baby rats, now I only need to find homes for 8 of them!....Which is still most. I'm keeping two, she's taking two...
Day 7 - The last, and only person I ever hug, is Johnny. And, if anyone I knew completely vanished, I'd be terrified and maybe go insane. But, I'd just vanish right after him, and follow him!

Friday, June 24, 2011


A lot has happened in the last few days..
I don't know if I want to talk about it here or not. I've been considering it, and came close once, but I'm still not sure.
I think I should at least first wait until I figure more things out first, and understand things better.
That's why I've been posting nothing but Day things, because there's nothing else to say, except the one thing I don't know if I want to say.
I think it would be really surprising. Everyone who's found out already, has been really surprised, except me. And, it's not good, but I don't want it to sound bad and make certain people seem bad, though I know it does. When I told my cousin, I used my words carefully, so I was telling the truth, but making it sound more how I wanted it to sound. Which is biased, but still... I don't like the exact truth. Well, I don't like the situation at all, in any way. Except using it to make someone I dislike seem even worse. But, only because of the truth, so it's their fault they did it.
But, I don't know...
I'm supposed to be going with Johnny to a doctor appointment of his sometime next week. His mom had told him to go alone, like without her,  and he didn't want to, so he invited me to go. I may know my way around the area better, and he'd probably be nervous about going, since he's going to see why he's been feeling so sick for the last, well, quite a while. He said he's scared that something would be really wrong with him, and so is his mom. I think whether it's something serious or not, he should still go to the doctor about it. I had been asking him to make an appointment for probably months before he finally did... But, at least he has one now. He needs to get blood work done at some point too. I'm not sure if he's getting it done that day or not. But he hates needles.

Day 4

Day 4 - What do you think it means to be in love?
I think it's a lot different than simply loving someone. When you're in love with them, the love is a lot stronger, and you'd be willing to do just about anything for the person, and they're someone you want, or need to be with, and you'd want to be with them, you wouldn't want anyone or anything else, as long as you have them, everything's okay. It would be someone you want in your life for a very long time. The only person you can see yourself with, or happy with.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Day 3

Day 3 - Where have you been spending your time lately? Three/Five/Ten years ago would you have expected to be there?
My room, and with Johnny.
I maye have expected I'd be spending lots of time in my roo, 3 years ago, maybe 5, but not 10.
I've only known Johnny for a year and a half, so I clearly never expected that.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Days 1 & 2.

Day 1 - What happened today? If it was the last day of your life, how satisfied would you be with your final hours?
Day 2 - Who are you? In comparison to who you used to be. What made you change?
Day 1 - (I'm doing this for today, not yesterday, even though I was supposed to do Day 1 yesterday.) Today, so far, I woke up at Johnny's, I've eaten fries and cookies, and I've turned my cousin against Dani. I'll say why in another post, maybe.... So, pretty satisfied.
Day 2 - I'm more daring now, but also more careful...if that makes sense. I'm more open about my hate, but I hate less people. I focus more on good people, and removing the bad people from my life. I guess the fight with my father last July, and getting with Johnny, meeting Nathan, and going through summer, and everything Johnny and I have been through, and even the shit with Dani has changed that.

Monday, June 20, 2011

too tired to post..

Probably too tired to do this, too...

Day 1 - What happened today? If it was the last day of your life, how satisfied would you be with your final hours?
Day 2 - Who are you? In comparison to who you used to be. What made you change?
Day 3 - Where have you been spending your time lately? Three/Five/Ten years ago would you have expected to be there?
Day 4 - What do you think it means to be in love?
Day 5 - Pick a song that projects the same mood as your day or week and explain.
Day 6 - Talk about a recent experience that has effected you greatly and how.
Day 7 - Think of the last person you hugged. What would you do if they vanished completely?
Day 8 - Write about the first moment that comes to your head when you read the words "childhood memory"
Day 9 - Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Day 10 - Did you have a good day or a bad day? Where do you think that defining line was?
Day 11 - Do you feel protective over someone?
Day 12 - If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
Day 13 - Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
Day 14 - When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
Day 15 - What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.
Day 16 - What are you passionate about?
Day 17 - Is there anything you would you like to change about yourself?
Day 18 - Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
Day 19 - If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
Day 20 - Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
Day 21 - Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
Day 22 - How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
Day 23 - Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.
Day 24 - Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?
Day 25 - What do you think it means to be a good parent?
Day 26 - Talk about a moment where you were truly happy. What was happening? Who were you with?
Day 27 - Is there a friend you are worried about? Why do they have you concerned? Do you think they'll be okay?
Day 28 - Would you rather someone tell you the truth up front but gently, or be lied to to spare your feelings?
Day 29 - If you could be doing the same things you do now, only in your own way, how would a normal day in your life go?
Day 30 - Look back on this last month and talk about it.

Sunday, June 19, 2011


I'm so sleepy. My cousin is supposed to be coming over around 2:30 for the night. My room is still a mess.. I'm too tired to clean! I'll do it once she leaves to come here, since it will take her about 20 minutes to get here.
There was something that happened at Johnny's that I wantd to say in the last post, and forgot until after posting, and now I can't remember what it was I wanted to say.
It may have been about how I'm getting really good at making him laugh when he's trying not to. Because I'll say something stupid or funny, and he tries not to laugh just to bug me. Usually I just comment on how he's trying not to laugh, and I can see it in his lips when they quiver, or kind of frown, but he's been getting better at ignoring that and not laughing. So, I looked at his eyes yesterday and told him to stop trying to distract himself from laughing by staring at the ceiling, and of course he burst out laughing. I felt pretty proud of myself. His body language can be pretty easy to read sometimes, and hidden meanings behind things he says. I really hope he and I can get closer. He says he wants to feel the same way about me, as I feel about him, but he just can't. I think he has a hard time feeling emotions, that's what he says. Kind of like how I suck at showing them. But even if he does, I'm still going to try, and I'm going to be patient with him, and only him. I am such an impatient person with everyone but him. XD
Anyways, I should go now.. I don't have much to talk about.

Saturday, June 18, 2011


I've had naps for the last two days. I had one yesterday, and I had one today. I even kind of slept in this morning, until around 8:00. It's the best sleep I had in two weeks, and I was still tired.
I was at Johnny's last night for the night. It was pretty fun. We tickled eachother a lot, and for once, I was actually doing good at tickling him too, so it wasn't just him beating me at it. I made funnier faces too. I think I'm getting more comfortable to be really weird around him, like I only am with my family, well, some of my family. Which, of course isn't a bad thing. At one point when we were wrestling (it got pretty rough at some points) he punched my arm, with actual force, and I punched him back, which he said really surprised him, and that it hurt. XD Both punches hurt, I don't know who's was worse. Neither were as hard as we could, of course. I used to wrestle even worse with my old step-brother Brady, who is one of Johnny's friends now, and I was like 8 - 11 then, not 16, so I had less of a pain tolerance then. Brady's the one who taught me how to punch properly, and wrestle. I'm probably a lot tougher now because of him than I normally would be. Which I'd consider a good thing, incase someone ever tries to rape me or something, because I could, and would, fight back. And, I've never really been girly, so wrestling's always been fun for me.
Last night at Johnny's, he had been eating white cheese flavoured popcorn, and then at one point, we kissed, and it gave me an allergic reaction, to the milk in it. XD My chest hurt a bit, and it was a little hard to breathe, and my tounge got really itchy, but I just drank some pop, which stung my toung, and that got rid of the itch. It was kind of funny, but in a way it sucked too, but it wasn't a bad reaction at all, so it's okay. I have allergic reactions a lot, but not normally to milk, seeing as I'm vegan. XD When I was vegetarian, I had them a lot. Eggs, milk, ice cream and cheese were the worst.
My cousin is coming over tomorrow for the night, she's bringing her gamecube, so I can play Harvest Moon (XD) and so she can see my rats.
It used to be my gamecube, before I gave it to her and her brothers as a christmas present because I hardly used it.
Last night as I was going to sleep, Johnny and I were talking about ways we could maybe get closer, and he said when the time was right, living together could maybe do that. I, of course, would love living with him, and I like that he seems to actually be able to consider it as a possibility some day.
Anways, I've been writing this for a while now.. so I'll stop. Bye.

Friday, June 17, 2011


I wrote my math exam earlier today, on five hours of sleep. It was apparently worth 103 points, and if I got all of the questions I did right, I can get 75 points, so roughly 72% is the highest I can get, which is pretty good for a final exam, I'd say. I got 69% last year, which was above the average. As long as I get at least like 53% I should be good, so I don't think I have much to worry about.
After the exam, my friend Vicki had no way home, so she would have had to stay there until 3:00, doing nothing, alone, and the exam was over at 11:20, so we drove her home, but first we stopped in at my house to see the rats. We were at my house for about 30 minutes, then we went and dropped her off at her house, and then I came home and talked to Johnny and my friend Matt. And, then I had a nap. For like 2.5 hours or so. Then I got up, ate, and came on my laptop. Johnny just signed in again!
I have to go now...I'm going to Johnny's for the night, and I have to be ready, and get to a neighboring town in 30 minutes to meet him somewhere...

Thursday, June 16, 2011


Shane fully met one of his babies for the first time today. Meaning, they hung out together in his cage for about ten minutes, and Shane even sniffed the babies bum. Dogs do that to meet eachother (I think) so that's probably why they do too. And, it was a boy I put in, so in a few weeks, they'll be living together, but not for long, since there's less than three weeks until I can start selling the babies. I put July 5th as the first day to be able to sell them.
That's them...
Since my mother still hasn't been able to get another big rat cage, when the boys are put with Shane, I'm going to be switching things around so the girls are in this smaller pink cage, because there's less girls, and the boys will be in the big blue cage, because it will give them a lot more space, and Shane's been in this cage for three weeks now. So, switching it up will be more fair. And hopefully really soon we can get a second big rat cage identical to the first, and then I think my mom said I can get two more boy rats to go in with Shane, since I'm keeping one or two of the female babies. But two of the baby rats are exactly identical. They have the same marking on their tummy, and I can't tell the two apart. I had first just thought there was one, but then I saw them both at once and realized differently. Mikey has a similar marking on her tummy, so that marking must just be in their DNA.
I cleaned Shane's cage today, because he was sorting through some dirty shavings to get some cleaner ones for his bed, which I think he pees in. So, I felt bad for him, and stopped studying for my exam and did that.
I'm taking a break from studying now, and will continue later today. I got a lot of the stuff memorized.
The Law of Cosine I'm only really learning today.. XD I always got all of the stuff mixed up before, but now I know it's: (^2 meaning squared)
c^2 = (a^2 + b^2) (- 2(a) x b) x cosC.
So like:
2^2 = 4^2 + 3^2 - 2(4) x 3 x cos C.
4 = 16 + 9 - 2(4) x 3 x cos C
4 = 25 - 8 x 3 x cos C
-21 = -24 x cosC
0.875 = cosC
cos^-1(0.875)  = X
28.96 = X

X being the angle I would have been looking for.
I couldn't show the division or subtraction on here, but I did it, of course... That's how the number on the left side of the equal sign changed.
And I did that without looking at the sheet, except to check to make sure what I was doing was right, which it was.
I should go now.. XD

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


My account is back to how it was before, so I can't respond to comments, signed in. So, I'm going to continue responding, but anonymous or whatever. Last night Johnny was being really sweet before he left to go to bed, and he said he wanted to talk today, but we've hardly talked at all.
We did talk about a pet store though, and he said it was a really good idea for me, and that he'd help me if I wanted his help, and apply for a job there. XD
We also talked about how at one point he has liked Dani, and told her. When he first told me this a few weeks ago, I was really worried that it had been while he and I were broken up, but apparently it was around the end of school last year, so like June. And we first kissed in July. So it's fine.
I also talked to Dani's ex boyfriend, who there has been lots of drama involved with (him, me, Dani and Johnny). We talked about it a lot. He just needed someone to talk to, since he's not speaking to either of them, he talked to me. I didn't mind much, actually. Dani's completely out of my life, and how she treated him is one of the reasons I started hating her, and not even Johnny knows they dated, so I can talk to him about that, where I can't Johnny.
I also talked to another friend of mine, who at the end of our conversation, commented on how we hadn't talked for that long in almost a year. He used to be one of my best friends. And, it was more of an in depth serious conversation. I kind of want to start talking to him more again.. He know's a lot of my past, and was one of my best friends during one of the hardest parts of my life. When I was cutting the most, starving the most, etc.
But, I don't know. I guess I'll see where things go.
My cousin is coming over Subnday for the night to see the ratties, and so she can bring her gamecube (that was once mine) because I have a random craving to play. But once I play, I'll be bored in 30 minutes. That's why I gave it to them in the first place, I hardly used it.
I want to see Johnny before Monday, but he's busy Saturday, and I'm busy Sunday... and I don't know about Friday, he may have mentioned it at his house, and then said he couldn't for some reason, I'm not sure.
My math exam is Friday. I'm staying home tomorrow to study, since I've hardly studied yet....I can do it! I hope.
My mood's been so much better since Johnny and I got back together (no surprise). It took a few days to get more used to it, and to stop worrying that he'd leave me right away. I'm not as worried now. And, by asking me to play video games with him, that was like his way of showing that he's trying to get more close too, I think. I had said I wanted us to do more together, so he doesn't get bored.. XD So, he's showing effort.
Last summer, we were going to go to the park, but it rained that day, so we didn't, and we never got around to it. So, this summer we are for sure... if it ever stops raining. It's been raining almost non-stop so far this spring.
I once read of heard somewhere that Canadians talk about the weather more than anyone else, and that it's not always typical everyday conversation in some places... Is it really? We always talk about the weather here! I was talking about it in math today.
25 days old:

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I woke up at 3:00am this morning, and got back to sleep around 5:30...and slept until 7 or 8 something.
I spent the night at Johnny's not last night, but the night before. I accidentally woke him up at 5:30...oops. XD He got back to sleep around 6:00 though. I don't think I got back to sleep.
I haven't gone to school yet this week, because it's not like we'd be doing too much. I'm going tomorrow and Thursday though. Then, my math exam is on Friday. I still haven't studied.... I have a yoga project due tomorrow, that I don't want to do, but I should..
A week or so ago my mother had told me I should become a rat breeder. And, I mentioned it to Johnny, and he said I'd be good at it. I wasn't really considering doing it, but then earlier today I was thinking about it more, because I'm going to be sad when the baby rats leave. And I was like "why don't I just open my own pet store?" And then I went to my mom, and I told her that we should open a pet store, like sell rodents, and pet food and stuff. XD And, she commented on how I still have a year of school left to do, so I said why don't we next year? So, she said maybe. If I still wanted to open on in a year, she said she'd let me. I don't exactly know how to go about doing that yet, but I'm sure I could figure it out and stuff, and then next year we could work towards actually doing it if I wanted to. It would probably be hard, but out of every other single job I have ever thought of, I don't want any. And, I've always loved animals, so even if I didn't make all that much money, I'd at least be happy with the job. And I'd have my mommy to help me.
I think it would be pretty cool if I actually went through with this and sold like, rats, hamsters, some mice, bunnies, and ferrets. (Breeding the animals myself so I could keep tract of their family history and health, etc.) And, sell food and supplies for those animals, and even cat and dog food, because lots of people buy cat and dog food, because those are popular animals. And, taking in rodents that people are getting rid of or not treating well, etc.
It's just a big thought right now, but it seems like a good idea. I want to talk to Johnny about it when he finally comes on msn, to see what his thoughts are on it, because he always gives good advice... though he probably wouldn't know anything about this. He can be supportive! (:
I really missed him yesterday after leaving his house, like right after I left, I missed him right away, pretty much. It's not as bad today, but it's 2:12 pm, and we haven't talked yet. He's been on Facebook a few times..
When I was at his house, he got me to play a video game with him. I often lost track of where my character was, and just randomly pressed buttons, but apparently I did pretty good, and helped him. XD
I was thinking of giving him the link to my tumblr account, so if he ever wanted to, he could go on there.. I had mentioned it to him a few times. So, I don't know, maybe.

Saturday, June 11, 2011


It's getting late, but I'm not exactly tired enough to sleep yet, so I'm going to make a post first. I don't have all that much to say though...
I took Shane swimming today, in the bath tub.
Mikey was being a lot more friendly than usual today. She was walking around on me, and willingly walking into my hand and stuff.
The babies are all doing good.
Johnny and I didn't talk too much today, because he's with friends. But, he's coming over tomorrow, and when we were talking, he said some pretty good things.
First, he said that's he's being thinking about me more, good things. And, of course, it's good for that to happen.
And, a few days ago, I mentioned to him how my friend Vicki had asked if I was going to prom next year, and when I said no, probably not, she said I should go (well, I have to go) and that I should go with Johnny. And, today he mentioned that, and said that he kind of regrets not going to his, and that he'd like to go with me to mine next year. I'd be happy to go with him. I wouldn't normally want to go, but with him I would..
And, him saying that also means that he plans to be close enough to me this time next year to go to prom together, which, is always nice to know.
And, last night he was either randomly signing out of msn a lot, or he was being kicked off, by msn. But, anyways, at 10:20, he was offline, and I wasn't sure if that was because of MSN, or because he was really offline, so I went to bed. I did leave him an offline message though.. I don't know if he got it though, because I got an offline message from him this morning asking where I went, and in my message I had told him I was going to bed. He also posted on my Facebook wall "Sorry I signed off! I love you" which isn't anything big, but it's still nice to have him show he cares about whether I'm offline, and that we can talk and stuff.
But, anyways, it's 9:32 now.. so I can probably go to bed soon. I have to clean my room tomorrow, before Johnny comes over around 8:00pm.
I just heard a gun shot, a shot gun, which probably shouldn't be used in this area, unless it's on a wild I'll be scared of wild animals all night, and I'm home alone.. great. XD

Friday, June 10, 2011


I was too lazy to post yesterday, and I still am, but I'm foring myself to.
I don't really know what there is to say.
Johnny did end up spending two nights, but he wasn't going to. So, I guess I was almost right about him only staying one. I think he only stayed because he knew I wanted him to, and I had told him that I hadn't expected him to stay both nights. He said he just wanted to be at his house, because he was more comfortable there, so if we do this again, one or both nights would be at his house. I don't really care where we hang out, as long as we hang out, I'm happy.
I wrote my last major test in Global History today, so for the next, and last, 4 days of school, we just have presentations in that class. And, in Chemistry, we have studying, and one more quiz. And, I think in math we just have review, too. So, other than yoga, no more school work really. We have a project in Yoga due Wednesday.
According to people at school, my math exam is next Friday, and my chemistry exam is the Thursday after that.
The baby rats are starting to learn how to eat and drink now.

The one in the picture is from yesterday, and is 16 days old.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011


Well, I woke up at 5:00 this morning instead of 2:00.. so I had to go to school. For Yoga we went to the preschool not too far away, and did some yoga with them, in a childish way of course. We went on a sea adventure. After that the little kids got to colour pictures of underwater creatures, and the little boy sitting beside me, Hunter, started talking to me. He was really cute. They were about 4 years old. And he was talking to me about his pictures, and how he likes the colour red. And he told me about a time he went fishing with his mom, and they got two fish, and one was really big, and Hunter had to hold it down because it was flopping around, and his mom had to go get a bigger bucket, because the one they had was too small for the big fish. XD
Johnny is supposed to be coming over later today. I don't know what time yet. Yesterday he said he'd come over today for the night, and then today he said he might tomorrow instead of today, but then he said he'd come over for two nights, because we were talking about that. So, he should be over later today, and spend two nights here. I have a feeling he may not spend both nights, but I hope he does..
I'm really tired. And I have a headache, because I had a hot shower, and I have low blood pressure, so showers give me headaches, and sometimes come close to fainting. They've only caused me to actually faint once though. XD

Monday, June 06, 2011


She's twelve days old, and is the first to open their eyes:

No school.

For me, at least. I thought it was bad when I got up at 6:30 yesterday... well, I've pretty much been up since 2:00am, this morning. I did get back to sleep twice, for 30 minutes each, at 6:30 and 7:30, but that's it. And, that's why I'm not in school today, I'd be too exhausted.
When I fell back asleep at 7:30, I had a dream that Johnny was moving away, which was a rather bad dream. But, I don't think he'll be moving any time soon, at least not far away. Which is very good. Like most of my dreams, it had other weird bits of information in it, like I had a pool, with frogs in it (Johnny and I were catching them..) and, I was going on a road trip with my cousin, aunt, and yoga teacher, and Johnny left his laptop in a barn/shed, so I went on it, and left him a message about him moving, and I needed to shave my legs.
At least because I'm staying hom from school today, there's a good chance I'll get to talk to Johnny more than I would if I went to school. There's 9 days of school left I think. Exams start next Thursday, but there's still classes going on that day.. That's probably the last day of classes, it's what I'm going by, and I think most other people are too.
I checked all of the babies last night, and there are 7 or 8 boys, and 4 or 5 girls. There's one I wasn't 100% sure about, but I counted it as a girl originally. It only took like 5 minutes or so to get them all; it was pretty easy to tell. But, I'll still have to keep checking, just to be sure.

Sunday, June 05, 2011


I'm so tired. I have been ever since I spent the night at Johnny's, because I was up until 12 am, and then up at 7:30. Last night I went to bed at 9:10, and I've been up since 6:30am...
But, good news! I picked out the three white babies today, and I was able to successfully sex them! Two (including the one I'm keeping) are girls! (I wanted a girl) And, of course that leaves the last white one to be a boy.
I have a small garbage can with shaving in it to place the babies as I check the sex, so I don't mix them up, but there are 3 white ones, and 9 black ones, if I take all 9 black babies and put them there, Mikey will definately notice, and possibly not like it.. so I don't know how I will check them all, without getting them confused yet, unless I take Mikey out, and bath her later or something, and have my mom watch her swim, as I check the babies. But I don't think that's the best idea. And, if I put them in other parts of the cage, to not get them mixed up, Mikey will just move them all back.. XD
Their eyes should also start opening within the next few days, which I'm excited for. I want them to see me!
Johnny had asked about a week ago, to name the one I keep, and I said yes. Today, when I said it was a girl, he said he would name it an appropriate name, which is good. XD All of my other animals except Shane, have names of the opposite sex that they are. Ian, Aaron, Jake, Jon, Ben, Bert, and Mikey are girls. Care is a boy. And Shane is a boy.
Exams begin in 11 days... I am going to fail the Chemistry one so bad. And, hopefully I do well on the math one. Last year I did above average on the math exam, and I'm doing so much better in math this year...
I really want to know what made Johnny change his mind, and want to be with me again.. I may ask him the next time we hangout in person, or if the topic comes up while we talk on msn.

Saturday, June 04, 2011


This is seriously going to get personal, you ready?

If you were caught cheating, would you fess up?
I'd never cheat on Johnny.
Also, if I were caught, there'd be nothing to fess up, it would already be known.

The last time you felt honestly broken?
Try the last three months.

Are you craving something?

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
For it to be late enough to sleep, I suppose.
Anything with Johnny would be more prefered though.

Would you rather have ten kids, or none?

What do you hear right now?
Hilary Duff.

Is your bed against more than one of your walls?

What’s on your mind right now?
Johnny, and this song.

Are you there for your friends?
Johnny and Ali.

Last person to see you cry?

What do you do when you get nervous?
Shake, feel sick, get a sore stomache, etc.

Be honest, do you like people in general?
In general, most people are assholes.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
Who says I'm having kids.

Does anyone completely understand you?
Not completely.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Yes. (:

Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you?
Yeah. Lots actually... most lost me..

Would you be happier if life had a rewind button?
Not now, everything seems to be getting better.
And, if I changed anything in the past, it could make things completely different now, and I don't want that.

Do you tell your mum or dad everything?
Ha, no.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
Well, I care about their health, but other than that, no.

Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone?
I hope not, but it usually happens.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
No one, for about another month and a half.
It's been almost a year since Johnny and I first kissed!

Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
All of them, a lot, about equal levels.

How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
It varies every night.

Are you easy to get along with?
Are you?

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
That would be my mother. Or myself...

What was the last drink that you put in your mouth?
Soy milk!

What size bed do you have?

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?

Do you like the rain?

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do?
More often than I'd like to admit.

Would people refer to you as a goodie goodie, bad news, or neither?
Bad news or neither.

Who were you last in the car with, besides family?
Johnny last night.

What’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
Little Fockers, with Johnny.

Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
Yes... I didn't know they had one.
Well, and I've kissed boys when I was their girlfriend...

Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you?
I don't really expect no one to hurt me.

Your parents are out of town. Would you throw a massive party?

Do you regret a past relationship?
Have I ever mentioned Alex on here before?

Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party?

Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over?

Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry?
Maybe from laughing.

Do you care too much about your appearance?

Are you a jealous person?

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
No. I've picked out ones to buy though.

Do you miss anyone?
Always, still.

Last person who made you cry?
Johnny and I were talking about death, and I thought about him dying..

Does your ex piss you off?
Not really, I pretend he doesn't exist.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Homework for Global History. 70 textbook questions and a major test this week...

Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week?
Definately not.

Is there anyone you want to come see you?

Have you ever been cheated on?

Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
Not completely.

Do you like cotton candy?

Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with?

Are you planning to get knocked up or knock someone up by age 17?
I plan on impregnating someone, yes. How'd you know?

Do you have siblings?

Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?

How has the past week been for you?
Bad and good. Mostly good.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

What’s on your mind right now?
Johnny, and music.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Well, I was actually awake for once, but I was going to bed. XD

What is your current mood?
No mood.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
I woke up next to Johnny.

Will this week be a good one?
I hope so. Lots of school work though..

Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy?

Who were you with last night?

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
Kind of, after a while, I just listened to him talk.

Next time you will kiss someone?
Sometime within the next week.

Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy?
Take turns.

Do you have any plans for the weekend?
I hung out with Johnny, and will do homework.


First of all, to Sami, I don't mind you answering for me, though one thing has changed...
Anyways, I often don't respond to comments, because when I try to, it says I'm not signed in, so I click the sign in button and it takes me to my dashboard, signed in, but when I go to comment again, it says I'm signed out. Though sometimes it works. And sometimes I just don't know what to say. XD
Well, Johnny was supposed to come to my house for the night last night. He did come, but around 10 he started feeling sick, so we came to his house. And, I'm currently on his floor, under a blanket, as if it were a fort. It was so the typing wouldn't be so loud, since it's around 7:45am, and he's trying to sleep. I woke up around 30 minutes ago; wide awake. Apparently being under here doesn't help the typing, but it's not bothering him either way, so I'm still keeping the blanket there because it makes me feel cool...
Anyways, the thing that changed is that yesterday Johnny actually asked me to be his girlfriend again. My answer should be obvious; yes.
He asked in Subway, and said he had planned to take me to Subway and be all romantic and ask there. I'm not sure how serious he was about that, but he does know how much I like Subway. XD
And I don't think this is like the last time we got "back together" for like, a week. Because, we were talking about it and how I wanted to, and he agreed to, but never seemed very certain about it.. and it didn't feel right, fully.
But, this time, it was completely his choice, we were probably just talking about subs right before he asked, not getting back together. And, he had said that he had been thinking about it since Monday, and because I'm "so cool." I was at his house Monday for the night, and I did give him another shorter letter talking about us again..
And, he was okay with changing the status on Facebook, and refers to me as his girlfriend.
Also, as soon as we got to his house and we were still in his car, he said he's glad I waited the three months for him to come back, and of course I am too. He apologized too, which isn't the first time, for confusing me a lot, and having me wait and still love him for months after we broke up.
I don't know how long he wants this to last or anything, and I'm not going to ask. Especially so soon. But, I'm glad this happened, and since he was okay with it on Facebook, he probably doesn't want it ending too soon, because he wouldn't want to go back and forth between statuses like that.
At my house yesterday he saw the baby rats, and petted (XD) the one I chose that I want.
Anyways, I should go now; this is probably long enough.