Sunday, July 31, 2011


Johnny was here last night for the night, well to sleep. I woke up at 4:00 this morning and went on Facebook to see if he was on to talk to because I couldn't sleep. He was at his friends house, so I assumed he'd be awake still. And he was. We talked until 6:00 and then he decided to come here to sleep, so he didn't have to sleep on the floor or something. He usually comes here to sleep when he's there. He hasn't slept here in a really long time. He feels more comfortable sleeping at his house, so we always hang out there now. He's hardly even been here in over a month; maybe 4 times. I don't mind though. Every time we hang out now, it's for the night, and it's always for at least two nights in a row. Ever since we hung out for two nights for the first time, we've been together more. Even more after being together for 5 or 6 days straight. I like seeing him more, and it feels like we're getting a lot closer. He seems to want to be in a relationship a lot more now, and that he's happy in it and stuff.
All I've really been doing all summer is hanging out with Johnny. I house-sat for my aunt and uncle a few weeks ago for the weekend.
I got The Sims 3 yesterday. But I don't think I'll be playing too much. Mainly at Johnny's so we can talk and I can play at the same time.
Other than that, not much has changed, and nothing interesting is happening.
But I'd say my life is pretty great right now. Except I'm still always tired.

Friday, July 22, 2011


I haven't posted in a while. I've either been busy with Johnny or exhausted.
I'm house/pet-sitting for my aunt and uncle this weekend. So, for the most part, I'm at their house alone the entire time. One of my cousin's (Ali) brothers stayed behind, and he's here every once in a while. But he's 14 or so, so he's mostly always gone with his friends being "cool." 
They're here right now... barbequing steaks....Well, at least the can fend for themselves.
Things have been really great with Johnny recently, which I love. We've been hanging out so much more now. I was with him for three nights (18th, 19th, and 20th) and we may be hanging out again on Monday. He was going to come see me here on Saturday, but my father may be coming by some time this weekend, to see I'm actually here (he thinks I'm lying) My aunt had said it was okay if Johnny came over though.
The 18th was one year since Johnny and I first kissed. So that was pretty good I guess.
I hadn't thought I'd be very happy about it, after knowing he cheated, but I was still happy....
I got him addicted to the show Criminal Minds, so we've been watching that together a lot.
Anyways.. I'll finish the Challenge thing later hopefully. I'm still quite exhausted.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Days 17 - 23

Day 17 - Is there anything you would you like to change about yourself?
Day 18 - Talk about your extended family. Why do you think they are the way they are?
Day 19 - If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
Day 20 - Again, pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
Day 21 - Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?
Day 22 - How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.
Day 23 - Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years

Day 17 - A lot of stuff. Appearence, less awkward/shy, smarter, etc.   
Day 18 - I actually don't know any of them that well..
Day 19 - Johnny's house, to play a game with him because he wanted me to play with him, but I had to come home today because I had a doctors appointment.
Day 20 - A lullaby. I've been sleepy and lazy.
Day 21 - I was just bored, so I chose it randomly.
Day 22 - They probably either see me as shy, weird, or intimidating. Those are the words I know of that strangers have used to describe me.. XD
Day 23 - Month: Spend time with Johnny, sell baby rats.
Year: Finish high school, figure out where I'm living, and how to get a petstore going.
Three years: Open a petstore.
Five years: Be running a petstore. Hopefully still with Johnny...

Wednesday, July 06, 2011


The last few days that I spent with Johnny were really good.
He came over Thursday night, spent the night. Went his friends on Friday, came back and spent the night. Went to his friends on Saturday, came back and took me to the party, dropped me off at home, went back to his friends, then came back and spent the night, then went to his friends Sunday, came back and took me to his place for the night. On Monday, he dropped me off at my fathers and picked me up again that night, and I spent the night with him. I spent all day Tuesday with him, and went home around 9:10. It feels weird sleeping alone again.
At the party, it was fine most of the time. I'm shy, so I didn't say much. A kind of mutual friend, Ben was there, so it wasn't too bad. But the adults that were there kept asking me if I wanted to talk to the other kids, or sit down when Johnny'd band was playing. No. I do not want to talk to people who I hardly know, or have anything in common with, and if I wanted to sit down, I wouldn't be standing. And one guy, kept saying that I didn't have to worry about anyone touching me (sexually)....I know I don't have to worry about that. Because if someone did try to touch me, who is not my boyfriend, I would hurt them. I don't care that I'm shy, and look weak, I'm good at punching, and I'm relentless until stopped. In this case by Johnny. So, even if someone touched me, I'd deffinately being touching them back, just harder, and with a fist, or a chair or something.
Some people are so weird. And annoying. I'd say I was fine standing alone or watching Johnny play. So I am. The only thing wrong was the people annoying me, and constantly trying to make me lighten up and smile, telling me I don't need to worry about sexual assult, and that I can sit down.
I still liked it though, more so when Johnny was around, so no one bothered talking to me much.
And, when I went to my fathers, I was supposed to be going for the night, and he wasn't supposed to be there. But, he ended up being there. I felt sick and out of place and didn't want to be there, so I told Johnny on msn, and he offered to come pick me up again later.
I told my father that Johnny was going by and would take me home, so I didn't have to get up early the next morning, which I would have, and because I don't like sleeping there (it scares me there...) He of course didn't believe me. Even if that were the truth, he wouldn't have believed me. He never does. He asked if I should call my mother to tell her I was coming home early, and I said I didn't have to. I live with my mother, I don't need to call to say I'm coming home. But of course, after I left, he called her, not to see if I got there safely or anything, only to try to prove that I was lying. He doesn't care about my safety. Then he told my mother, he only let me go, because he didn't want an incident like last time (last July we had a physical fight, and I left in the middle of the night and didn't talk to him for months). Which is fucking stupid. He's my father, but I don't live with him. He has no control over what I do. I was a guest at his house, if I want to leave, I can. And, if he tries to stop me, it's kidnapping.
I absolutely hate seeing him. I only went there, because I thought he wouldn't be there.
I'm sick of him. I wish he's just fuck off and stay out of my life.
I don't care that he's "my father." He's my father  through DNA, nothing else. He's just the sperm donor, really.
He's an asshole.
It was nice staying with Johnny for such a long time though.

Day 16

Day 16 - What are you passionate about?
Uhh.. Johnny and animals I guess. Not much else.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011


I've been with Johnny for the last few days, since Thursday I think. I'm really tired, so I'm not posting a regular post tonight, and I'll talk about the last few days tomorrow.
My wrist is also really sore, from tying knots for 6 hours... I'm pretty sure I have arthritis, since everyone in my family does, but my doctor never does anything about it. She doesn't even check my wrist. She said I had some leg syndrome. Last time I checked, my wrist was not part of my leg.

Days 13, 14, 15.

Day 13 - Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
Day 14 - When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
Day 15 - What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.

Day 13 - Johnny will be with me. Actually, no, just like me, I have no idea where he will be in 10 years. But I hope he's with me! And, if he isn't willinging, he already knows I plan to chain him up in my basement and keep him forever. So, he's either with me, or trapped in my basement. ;)

Day 14 - Talking to Johnny, because he's just amazing. Animals, because they're cute and nice. Cutting, because of some science thingy, and it actually being able to make you happy.

Day 15 - First of all, I believe religion exists, physically. The act of religoin exists. It obviously does, since people believe it and there's books etc.. But, I don't believe any of the religions. If someone wants to believe in one, or that it's true, they can. But I stay away from religion. I believe science. But I have no theories or beliefs as to what happens after death. I'll find out when I die.

Saturday, July 02, 2011


The rats started to chew through the wire mesh on the cage, so I took it off. I was really worried that the babies wouldn't be able to stay in there, because they'd get out, and there is a chance they could. So, I put the cage back in the original box, cut a place for the water bottle, and two corners so once wall folds down. That way, they can't get out of the cage unless they are absolutely desperate.
I felt so bad for Shane when I put the babies back in with their mother until figuring out something to do. Because he was back to being alone and lonely again. But at least I don't have to worry about that now, all the boys are able to stay in the cagre again now.
I tried taking a video on my laptop of the boys playing, but after playing with them for about 15 minutes, I decided to stop. And then I noticed the video hadn't recorded there was no video. And, they were all laying down by the time I noticed, so I couldn't take another video then.
I'm supposed to be going to a  big kid party later. Like, the kind with alcohol and drugs and stuff. I will not be doing either of those, I'm just going to watch Johnny's band play, and then probably follow him around like a lost child, and try to be kind of social... I was going to get my mother to drive me there, but she wont be home. But, since it's just up the rode, Johnny said he could pick me up if she couldn't take me there, and he was already planning on driving me back home.
Johnny is thinking about taking two of the baby rats (girls). It would be great if he did. Because he'd take Phillis, the one I was going to be keeping, and also her best friend. They're both really shy, and I don't want them seperated, and I want to be able to see them, so with him would be great.
Either way, there's 3 or 4 pairs to find homes for. 3, if he takes two.
I need to put an ad online soon or something to find homes for the rest. And, I'm going to say, for anyone who gets them, that if ever they no longer want them or something, they can just give/sell them back to me. Because someone might buy them, and then them or their kids never pay attention to them or look after them, so if that happens, they'd be better off back with me, looking for a new home or something.

Day 12

Day 12 - If you could trade places with anyone for one week, who would it be and why?
Johnny. Because whoever it was would see me naked, and I don't want anyone else seeing me naked. XD

Friday, July 01, 2011

Day 11

Day 11 - Do you feel protective over someone?

I guess. Like, if someone tried to hurt Johnny, or my little brother or cousin or something, I'd try to hurt them. Even if they were a full grown, strong male....
I guess I can be pretty wreckless when it comes to protecting myself in that way. XD