Friday, December 31, 2010


I don't know if I should consider 2010 a good year or a bad year. There's been both good and bad things. I've learned quite a bit this year, and have changed quite a bit as well. I started 2010 off in my father's kitchen talking to my friend Matt on MSN. I still visited my father frequently then. It was about a month after breaking up with my first boyfriend, who apparently called my mother's house that night, drunk, looking for me because he wanted to get back together. My mother never told me that, which I think is a good idea, I didn't need to know, I actually found out later from Matt that he did.
In the beginning of 2010, I would always accidentally write 2012, rather than 2009 like a lot of people. XD
I don't know if I made a resolution or not.. I think I may have; to be single all year (and every year) so I could become a crazy cat lady at 28.... I'm not sure if I was serious about that or not. Well, I didn't do that. And I may have had another one, which would have been to lose weight, which is funny because 2010 has been my fattest year ever. I weigh about 115, without clothes on.
In March, on the 13th to be exact, Johnny messaged me on Facebook chat, and then, like 30 minutes later added me on MSN and we talked there. He was already friends with my friend Dani, so he knew a bit about me, and I knew a bit about him. He also excepted all of our weird stories that he heard from her, a lot which most people would think were just weird. We became friends, and unlike I usually do, I talked to him in person quite a bit before we became close friends. (Usually I'm really shy and don't talk much face-to-face. I'm trying to be less shy though, so that's why.) He became friends with our other friends as well, and soon we got into a routine of always meeting in a certain corner of the school to play cards in the morning, at break, and at lunch. And also, after barely knowing him, my friend Jenna became obsessed.
I was just starting to actually care about school work this year, right around the time for first semester final exams. I don't know what my mark on the science exam was, but I am pretty sure the teacher pushed me through, I must have done relatively well.
I was failing math horribly, all of first semester. And second semester I was trying harder in all of my courses, including math, somewhat. I passed second semester, and got a 69% on the final exam for the entire math class which lasted both semesters. And 69% was above average for the class, so the teacher gave me a 50 on my report card.
My school year ends around the end of June.
Around this time I became friends with Nathan, who was dating one of my friends, but it was kind of a secret. Our first conversation on MSN was about how earlier we saw a "hot" teacher from our school outside his house without a shirt on, an argument over who was better out of Edward and Jacob (neither of us even like Twilight), a gross teacher at our school in short shorts, throwing him in the ocean so lobster could eat him, and then eat the lobster to eat him, and whether I'd enjoy having my favourite teacher, who's rather old, coming into my room at ngiht and biting me...
Johnny graduated from High School this year. I wasn't sure if I'd ever see him again since he was no longer in school, and I had never saw him outside of school before. But, around July 5, he asked me if I wanted to go to his house for a few hours. I said okay, and he came to pick me up from my fathers. When I came home that night both my father and his girlfriend asked if he was my boyfriend. I said no, which was the truth.
Jenna was still obsessed at this time.
The next week, Johnny invited me up again, and again, I went up. We did the same things as the week before; go the the river behind his house, pet his dog, watch movies and playfully wrestle like brothers and sisters would.
On the third week, on July 18th, Johnny came to my house for the first time. We watched movies, he looked around my whole room, in my dresser drawers and everything. But I didn't mind, because I had just cleaned my room! At one point, he was laying down and motioned for me to as well. I did, assuming it was because he felt awkward laying down when I was sitting up. This is when he kissed me. And that's what we did for the next few hours.
He dropped me off at my fathers later that night, and that's when the biggest fight I've ever had with my father happened, which resulted in his girlfriend breaking it up, and me leaving at 10:00pm, with no where really to go, carrying all of my stuff. I wasn't even wearing my shoes! I ended up walking 20 minutes or so to my mother's friend's house, and waiting there for my mom to pick me up. I didn't need to tell her where I was, she knew I'd be there, because I had no where else to go. I had decided that if they weren't awake there, I was going to spend the night outside with my father's dog... luckily they were awake.
And I'm terrified of the dark, and wild animals. There were no street lights, and there are a lot of wild animals around my fathers house, such as coyotes and bears, so I was pretty terrified while walking there.
I didn't eat for the next two days, and on the third day I was at Johnny's. I didn't eat until later that day either. I remember laying on his bed almost asleep, waiting for my mom to pick me up because I felt so gross from not eating. I got a bottle of Gatorade on the way home which was gone in about five minutes (And I usually drink really slowly) That, of course, made me feel really sick though. XD After that day, I hardly ate until the end of August; I'd eat most days, but only a little, and I had started losing weight, which was nice, but then, around the end of August, my apitite came back, and now I'm constantly eating, which I hate.
Over the summer, a lot of people, mostly Johnny's friends, Nathan and his friend asked me or Johnny if we were dating, and we always said no. We were together, kind of, but not dating, and it was a secret because Jenna still liked him. Eventually I told Nathan the truth, but told him not to tell anyone.
On my birthday, August 9th, I was first with Johnny, I spent the night on August 8th, and later on the 9th, I came home because August 9th is also my mothers birthday. My Aunt, two of my cousins and my grandmother came over, and my cousin Ali spent the night. Usually, I'm a good baker, but we made a cake that night that was so lopsided. XD
For most the the summer, every Saturday, I was with Nathan, we'd usually go to a nearby city, or just drive around and look at teachers houses, and be creepy. While with him, I learned a lot about a lot of my other friends, and it didn't change my outlook on most of them, but it did for M, who has been mentioned before on December 7th. Before I was friends with Nathan, M and I were close, but now, even though Nathan and I no longer talk, what he taught me about M stilll bothers me, and it always will.
People have said that they're jealous of the friendship M and I have; that's it's so great, and we always get along, we're so alike, and always have so much fun together, and we're always laughing. If they knew the truth about us and our friendship, they'd be shocked.
On December 5th, my friends birthday, Johnny and I changed our relationship status on Facebook, so it completely was no longer a secret then.
I guess that is my year quickly summed up. A lot of other things have happened, but I've already written quite a bit.
In 2011, I don't really have any major plans.
My resolution will be to lose weight, at least 15 pounds.
I hope to stay close with Johnny. And I hope to figure out who my true friends are, and be more myself, and also become less shy, and get rid of my old "emo" image. (In Grade 9 and some of Grade 10, people always called me emo. I don't even like emotive hardcore music though. XD)
Well, I hope everyone has a good new years eve! I'll either be outside with my telescope, watching tv, or possibly sleeping, since I woke up at 4:45 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. XD
I write too much... :\

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