Sunday, February 13, 2011

Sleep over

Because of Johnny and I breaking up, my mom thought it would be a good idea to send me to my cousins house for the night last night to get my mind off the break up, so i wouldn't spend all of my time in my room crying, which I've started to do. I actually did this most of yesterday until I talked to Johnny, and I'm doing it again now, too.
I like seeing my cousins and spending time with them, but I don't really llike being around people rihgt now, I want to be alone all of the time. My mom called my aunt and explain the situation and asked if I could go over for the night, without me knowing. I didn't want to go, but I didn't want to say no, and I thought maybe it would help. I was talking to Johnny then too, and he said I should go. So I went.
The first hour or two were okay. But, after a while, I lied and said that I had told people I'd be on MSN that night, so I could really just go on and talk to Johnny.
After that, I went to watch movies, and Johnny's friend went over to his house, so we both were busy and couldnt talk.
I thought of Johnny just about all night.
We watched Despicable Me, which I found kind of interesting, but some parts were sad, which wasn't good for me. And then we watched Piranah, well, they did. About halfway through, all of the screaming and dying just started randomly bothering me, and I had to leave the room, so I talked to one of my friends on MSN.
After the movie was over, we went to bed, and like the night before, I left my laptop on, with a conversation window with Johnny open. Around 2:30 I woke up again, and just laid there, and then around 3 something, Johnny had messaged me on Facebook, where I didn't get the messages until he was gone, but he asked why I hadn't been on since about 3 pm, implying he wanted to talk, not about anything important though. He said good night, on msn, so I got it and said good night back, and he signed off. I'm assuming he completely forgot we talked around 6 or 7, but it's nice to know that at least he wanted to talk to me.
I started wanting to go home last night after our moms left to celebrate my aunts birthday. I was really homesick last night, and it didn't help that I had forgot both the bracelet that I wear every day from Johnny and my blanket that I sleep with. By this morning, I really wanted to go home. I woke up around 9:00, and I called my mom at 10:00 and faked sick, so she came and got me, and I finally got home around 11:00.
All I kept thinking about was Johnny, and I just wanted to lay there and thinnk, but I had to socialize with people, so it was hard.
I almost started crying on the drive home, but luckily I was able to hold it back until I got in my bedroom, where it started right way.
My fathers girlfriend messaged me on Facebook asking if I was okay from the break up, and I said yeah, and she invited me to my aunts birthday supper tonight at my fathers house, but that would be too much socializing, so I'm not going to that.
My other friend messaged me about it too, and I said we were just taking a break and still friends. I haven;t gone into much detail with anyone about it. The only person who really knows how I feel is Johnny.
There was one friend who I messaged, but she didnt want to seem to talk about it, so I'm not talking to her about it. The one who messaged me on Facebook, kind of seems to want to, but she's not allowed on her laptop this weekend, so we can't talk about it.
I'm not going to school tomorrow. I either have to fake sick again, cry, and if my mother doesn't let me stay home, go to the bus stop, and when she drives away after dropping me off, walk back home, since she works all day, and tell her Johnny's picking me up at school and driving me home, since she knows he's coming over tomorrow to talk.
I know I should go to school, but I just can't yet. I'm going to have to get mym work sent home, and get extra help from friends, or email the teachers or something. I don't want to fall far behind in my work, but I'd rather that than actually going to school.
When talking yesterday, Johnny admitted that he didn't want to break up yet either, so hopefully talking tomorrow has a good outcome..

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