Tuesday, February 08, 2011

I don't know how to title stuff anymore.

There's been so much bothering me that I'm pretty much too lazy to even think of a title, and it's kind of depressing, somehow.
I'm really irritable and sad lately. One reason is the second thing I didn't want to mention in an earlier post, which will hopefully be ressolved Thursday. And other than that, all of my friends are being annoying, or I'm finding they are, Chemistry is already stressing me out since the teacher does not explain anything at all, my mothers boyfriend is causing stress in the enitre house, and Johnny might be moving to another province.
School is just horrible, even though two of my classes are easy so far, there's still being in public, and my friends bothering me, and socializing, and thinking about other stuff that bothers me.
I've been thinking about cutting, a lot. But I haven't yet, and I plan on continuing trying not to. I can't say I wont, but at least I'd be trying.
I've been so emotional recently, like a lot more than usual. And it's all negative emotions, rarely positive ones. I don't even feel like acting happy anymore. In Chemistry today I was fake smiling, and I think it was really obvious, since I was just staring at my textbook, and pulling my lips up in a smiley face shape, a bit, whenever required.
I don't even know what to think of everything right now. And with the thing with Johnny, I'm trying to be supportive and help him make his decision, so he can do what he wants to do. Of course I want him to stay, but I don't tell him that. I don't want to affect his choice, and I want him to do whatever he wants to do without feeling guilty or anything.
I've also been sleeping more recently, which I guess is good, I still feel just as exhausted though. I only sleep so I don't have to be awake.
I don't know what to do about anything anymore.

1 comment:

  1. I sometimes feel like that. It's real annoying. Because I want to be happy and enjoy whatever's going on, but everything just seems confusing and annoying. And I hate everything.
    Hopefully it passes soon.