Those are lyrics from the song Chemistry of a Car Crash by Shiny Toy Guns.
They kind of relate to how I feel right now, except I've felt more alien before. Since last night, I've for the most part, just been unsure of anything that I want, or how I feel, or anything. The only time I was really sure of anything is when I was writing my English exam this morning, which was really easy. Johnny and I were talking last night, we didn't have a fight or anything like that, but we were talking about something (I don't want to say what) and, it didn't make me mad, it just didn't make me happy either, and I've been thinking about it a lot. I want to talk to him more about it, I think, but I don't even know if I want to. I don't think I would want to talk to him in person about it. Things have just kind of sucked for us recently. Well, there's this, and what I've been talking about in previous posts, with my friend. She told him to find out what the issue is and for him to tell her, and she just keeps trying to use him to find out what it is, and it doesn't even have anything to do with him. I don't care that he knows, but she should have left him out of it. It's incredibly stupid that she's trying to get information through him, and he'd have to trick me in order to get it. He told me, of course, and said he wasn't going to tell her, and I don't tell him much about it anyways, because I don't want him to get trapped in the middle. She's just dumb. If she wants to know what it is, she can ask me, rather than try to get my boyfriend to trick me and then go behind my back and tell her. I'm just getting really sick of her. Maybe I should message her... I don't want to, but it would stop Johnny from getting trapped in the middle, which he doesn't deserve. He's friends with both of us, he shouldn't have to be the messenger. I know he thinks I should just message her, and she wants me to, so it would keep her from dragging him into it...maybe. Hopefully. I used to never have drama in my life...until summer. I don't know if most people would consider this drama, but since I rarely have any, it is to me. I think I may go and try to write her a letter, only a rough copy on Microsoft Word though.