Today in English, our class was talking, and we are known to either talk about things way too much, or getting completely off topic, and we somehow got on the topoic of coyotes, and how one killed a deer in a park kind of close by on the weekend, and as soon as I heard coyote, I started paying attention, and then when I got home from school, I decided to look it up, and ended up reading several articles on coyotes in my province and how they're getting less afraid of humans, and even bigger, and some more agressive, and closer to public, etc. And I am terrified of coyotes, so naturally this terrified me. I was talking to Johnny about it, and he said that I should stop researching my fears, and after that didn't work, he told me 'facts' on coyotes, which used to be true, but have all been changing, so even though he tried to help, it didn't work. But, I am rather stubborn. XD
Also, I don't know if it's for real, or if it's just me being tired, but I've been really easily irritated recently, ever since not sleeping good recently with two of my friends. I think it's for real though, and not just me being tired. Since, one, I've been slightly irritated with for years, and the other one, it started over summer. One hasn't noticed, or at least not brought it up, and the other has brought it up a lot, which only irritates me more, and she's become more clingy, which irritates me even more.
The first one, who has always irritated me a bit, she just acts like a bitch and a know-it-all, and she's demanding, and lying, and an attention whore. But, I kind of just ignore her, unless it's impossible. So, with her it isn't much of a big deal.
With the other, I considered her a best friend for the last like three years. Grade 8, 9, and 10. But when Grade 10 ended, and it was summer, I became friends with her ex boyfriends, who she was trying to be friends with, or something like that. And, we'd hang out, and I heard stuff from him, even when they worked things out and stayed friends, and I'd hear things from him, and then things from her, which I would know from what I heard from him was a lie. And, he and I would talk about her quite a bit, not always negatively, but from our dicussions, they brought out a lot of truths, which I really don't agree with, which has made me change my feelings and thoughts towards her, and I just can't seem to ignore those. None really have anything to do with me, but still, she could be like that with someone, so it's still bad, even if it's not wth me. The other people didn't deserve it.
And, now I can't tell her why I'm acgting how I am, because that would mean telling her that the guy, who she's now frieds with told me stuff, and to keep from possibly damaging their friendship, I'm just ignoring it. I don't even talk to the guy anymore.
But now, she keeps mentioning it and bringing it up, and being clinging, and it's just really annoying. Like really annoying.
I don't even know if I want to be friends anymore, but I can't say anything.
I keep blaming it on being cranky because I'm tired. But I really don't think that's why.
I can't tell her why, because of her friendship with the guy, and because I don't want to be mean or hurtful. And, if I were honest, it would completely mess up our group of friends, and some may start thinking that I'm a horrible person or a bitch or something. I try to talk to Johnny about it, but I have to be careful, because Í don't want him thinking I'm a bitch or hating me for it or something, which seems highly unllikely, but still, I worry. XD
Anyways I have to go shower now,