Saturday, January 22, 2011


Well, as mentioned in either the last or second last post, there are issues with me and two friends. More so one than the other, the one who's pretty much been my bestfriend since Grade 8. Well, I find things are even worse now. She's smothering me way too much. She had messaged Johnny (they're friends) and in the message, she mentioned her and I not being as close. So, now, even when I turn to Johnny, she's there too, in a sense. Not matter where I go, or who I talk to, she's mentioned, or there's something to do with her. It's like I'm a fish without gills and she's the ocean. But I don't want to upset her. She goes on about how I'm the most important person in her life and her best friend and they only one she can talk to about her problems without needing to fear that I'll tell someone; but I'm like that with most people and most problems, unless it's serious and life threatening. And, where a lot of the reasons I think differently (negatively) about her now, is that I know things that no one but the person she told were supposed to know, and they told me, so if I tell her it could mess their friendship up, and though she deserves to know, they're both messed like that, about not being honest with eachother, etc. So, who cares if she "deserves" it? Not me.
Johnny and I were talking about it today, and I wasn't really saying much, and making it sound smaller than it is. I told him I'd rather talk about it in person, which is true, and he's coming over tomorrow evening, so I'll probably talk about it then. I of course wont share all of the secrets, but I'll go over my feelings towards her and how they're changing, etc.
He wants me to talk to her about it. He still wants us to stay best friends; he's so used to it.
We're known for being bestfriends, everyone knows we are, some people have even admitted to being jealous of our friendship, and now this happens, so it's different and unexpected, and most don't want it to happen. It could also mess up our group of friends, so much.
Johnny says maybe someday I'll regret it, if I end the friendship. But, I had a friend, who I had been friends with, since we were months old, and we were best friends from grade 4 or 5 until Grade 7, and I started disliking her, and stopped talking to her in Grade 8, and I'm still glad I made that choice. And I dislike both for similar reasons, except the first bestfriends were more obvious. This ones are hidden. Which is another reason, everyone sees her as innocent and nice, so if I stop talking to her, it will be my fault, and everyone will blame me, and I could lose other friends too.
I had thought Johnny was mad at me for it, but he wasn't. I seriously thought he'd leave me to be friends with her. But, it's not like I care if they're friends, even if I don't like her. I don't like several of them, but they're his friends, not mine, so it really doesn't matter, he can be friends with whoever he wants, obviously.
If I were to stop talking to her, I'd have a lot more alone time to think; and write, or do homework, or something. And, I do have other friends. I try not get become too dependent on someone, because almost everyone leaves eventually.
But, anyways, other than that negative aspect of my life, everything else is pretty great. This semester is almost over. The English exam seems incredibly easy, we went over kind of what it would be on in class, and my homework is almost done. Everything is really good with Johnny. We never fight or anything like that, only jokingly. And he's really nice. Science fair presentations are over, and I think I did good. It was kind of fun. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but for my project, I got an orange, and put a happy face on it, and named her Mabel. After the project, I ate her, and she was very delicious. XD
My mother and I haven't fought much in a few days, and I've barely had any contact with her boyfriend. And I have clay and paint! And, I've been beating even more games of Advanced Minesweeper! XD
Anyways, I should go now. And play Minesweeper....

1 comment:

  1. I hope this thing with your friend turns out better than expected. It'd fit nicely with all the other good things happening.