I suck at making titles now, and that's what I'm watching, so it's the only title I can think of.
I went to school for the whole day today for the first time this week, and I'm going again tomorrow. It's kind of awkward, because that person who I'm no longer friends with, has all of the same friends as me, and two classes of four with me. And we sit side by side in Math. Only one friend noticed we were hanging out or talking and that I didn't know where she was at lunch. That friend said the other friends would go and she'd stay with me at lunch, because I was sitting alone writing (which I actually like doing). So once the others left she asked if we were fighting. I said we weren't fighting and that we just weren't talking much. She asked if we were able to talk, and I said yeah, that we wouldn't start shouting prophantities at eachother, and we left it at that. She doesn't know that we've ended the friendship completely. I'm sure she'll find out eventually, but it doesn't have to be just yet. I have no idea what I'd say, and I'd rather it be over a computer than face to face. But they're obviously going to have to find out eventually. Last night Johnny and I were talking on MSN after his friend left. And at one point he said "MY NAME...something tells me that the main reason why you don't like EX-FRIEND'S NAME anymore is because I didn't tell you that I loved you more than her." And that started a conversation on that. I told him that that wasn't why, and that the main reason is because she hurt him, by ignoring him, which is true. And then I commented on how a few weeks ago he had said that he cared about me more and that I was more important to him. And I asked if I should have not believed that, and he said no, that I should have believed it, because it was true. And that he was going to tell me that then, but I kind of beat him to bringing it up, haha. And then he was talking about how I've always been there for him, when she hadn't. (Like the two months she ignored him for no good reason.) And he told me he loved me. As a friend, of course. All of that, like about me being there for him more, and him accepting it, I never thought that would happen. But somehow last night he was able to realize it, and that he hadn't wanted to say it before but he was able to now. He doesn't know what changed, or at least he's not saying, but I don't think he knows why. He still wants to be friends with her, but I'm really glad that he now understands that I've been there for him more, and didn't ignore him for two months, just because someone else didn't want me talking to him. The guy that got her to stop talking to him tried the same thing with me, and tried to make me leave him, and I didn't listen. I feel that if she really cared about him, she'd never have done that. But, anyways, after hearing him say that, well, seeing him type it, it made me really happy. Does that make me sound like a bitch? I think it might... but I definately don't mean it in a bitchy way.
Johnny's supposed to be coming over tonight for the night. He should be over around 11. He's taking a friend of his home, and he lives past my house, and since he'll be going back that way tomorrow, he's just going to come here for the night, and then stay here when I go to school tomorrow, and he said he'd come back afterwards, which should be around the time I get out of school, so we'll hang out a bit then too. I'm pretty excited, but it's 9:40 now, so I really have to go clean my room and get out of my yoga clothes, haha.
No comments:
Post a Comment