Sunday, March 13, 2011


Well, a year ago today, was the first day Johnny and I ever talked! I've been pretty excited about it for the last few days, well, last few months, but more so as it got closer. It's also a week since we broke up, but I'm more interested in knowing him for a whole year. I made him a card. I was kind of sad that we wouldn't be able to hang out on this special day, but around 4 today, he invited me over for the night tonight, so when my mother gets hom at 8 or 9 she's driving me over.
When he was here for the night Wednesday night, we had quite a bit of fun. We watched The Perfect Getaway (I think that's what it's called... it's about a honey moon couple in Hawaii with a murderous couple) I almost screamed three times, I made noise, but not enough to be considered a scream. XD And we also watched Spice World and Sherlocke Holmes.
I guess we're kind of friends with benefits now, which I think will help me get over him with less pain involved. Like, we still slightly seem like we're together while I know we aren't, so it's not like he's completely gone. Not that he would be if we didn't have the "with benefits" part. He still wants to be close friends, and I'm starting to get used to calling him my best friend now. And, he is my bestfriend. I'm not as sad as I was since the first sleepover. It went really well, and I didn't cry. It's kind of funny how this started, well, I had mentioned it a few days ago, half joking, half being serious, and then when he was here, we were on my couch, and he was laying down, and I was sitting on the edge, and when we were watching The Perfect Getaway, he started kicking me. After a while I stopped hitting his foot, and he just laid his foot against my leg. And after a while my hand ended up on his foot, and he was rubbing my leg with his foot, and I was rubbing his foot with my hand. And we kept glancing at eachother. XD After a while, he asked me to turn the light off in the other room so it was darker, so I did, which meant the entire house was pitch black, excpet the light coming from the tv playing the kind of scary movie. And, since I was on the edge closest to the door, I moved in closer to him, to be farther from the door so no monsters could come out of the darkness behind me and grab me. It's a common fear! And, after a while he sat up too, and slowly moved closer, until we were about half a foot apart, just when the movie was getting scary. And I kept looking away, because I was scared, and he told me I could move closer, or maybe touch or hold him in some way, if  was scared, so I moved closer and hugged his arm. And then after the movie was over we talked more about it.
At one point during the movie, when I got scared, usually I might over my eyes, but I was wearing my glasses this time, and instead of covering my eyes, I ripped my glasses off. XD Of course, it also impares my vision, but seriously, who rips their glasses off in fright? Me... This reminds me of a time at my cousins birthday, she had 8 or so girls over, me being one, and she had been trying to scare me and the other two most easily scared girls the whole night while we were outside around a bon fire. At one point I warned one of the others of her sneeking up in the dark, and then she promised that friend she's scare her really good later that night.
And then later that night, he somehow managed with 3 of the other girls, her mom, her moms friend, and her two dogs to set up a prank as if there was a murderer in the woods trying to kidnap us. There had originally been 4 girls helping her, but one didn't know the adults were in on it, and when she saw an "old man" (who was really a 26 year old woman dressed up) walking in the woods, she thought it was real and came in to tell us. So, we all thought there was a murderer in the woods. And, at one point, we heard someone walking up the steps onto the second level of her back deck, so we all ran into the living room to find places to hide. And the others had found pretty good hiding places, but we could all see a shadow on the wall coming in from the kitchen, and then they came into the living room, and I screamed and jumped onto the couch and covered my face... I was in plain sight.
I do such weird things when scared. I once threw my laptop, and I also once jumped towards the TV when a movie scared me...
Today's the first day since the break up that I haven't cried, which I guess is a good thing. Before we hung out, I was really really upset, but since hanging out, it's been better. I know if we had broken up and not decided to be friends, I'd still be in horrible condition, but we're still really close friends, so it's not as bad, and hanging out with him really helps.
I do get jealous a lot, of other girls. Which, is probably normal, like I do worry that eventually he'll find another girl, and not want to be my friend, even though we've already talked about staying friends when we're with other people, well mostly how when he gets another girlfriend, I have to stop complimenting him so much. Like, I still compliment him a lot, but he says if I continue complimenting him how I do know, he'd feel like he was cheating, like emotionally cheating, so of course I'll tone it down. I wont stop though, like every once in a while, when the times right, or when he's upset I will, to let him know that I care and that's he's a really good person. I can still help him with stuff, and do stuff for him, and hopefully still get/make him things! Like, I probably wont like that he has a girlfriend, but I will want him to be happy, therefore, I wont interfere in his relatioship, unless she was bad for him and he didn't notice or something like that. It's 7:40... I should be getting ready to go to his house soon, but I'm too lazy right now..
While he was here Thursday, that morning, while he was sleeping, I made a Neopets account, and made a neopet after him. I've been on there a lot since... doing stuff for his neopet-self. He loves reading on there, but hates it in real life. XD He thinks I'm a loser for making a Neopets account, but I love it! And he doens't hate it, he just thinks I'm weird, but he always has.
I want to continue writing, but I don't have much to say, or the time to say it, so I'll just go.


  1. Hey sorry haven't gotten the chance to get online for a couPle weeks. Soon sounds ruff. He seems to be playing with your emotions. He can massage your leg and hold you during movies but you can't compliment him? He seems to be controlling you but that's just me I'm not you so I don't know the whole story

  2. Well, I can compliment him now, I just can't as much when he gets a new girlfriend, which is understandable, I'd say. Like, how I compliment him now, is the same as how I complimented him as a girlfriend, pretty much, and that could cause problems if he had an actual girlfriend. I don't really think he controls me in any way, other than ways I want to be controlled. I don't really think he's playing with my emotions, he's up front about how he feels as much as he can be, and everything. But, I guess to other people it could easily seem like he is. And he could be, with me not even noticing, I guess.. XD