Friday, January 06, 2012


I haven't posted in a while.
Today, Johnny and I went at got two baby rats. A siamese and a hooded (fawn), both girls. They're so small, and still shy, but that's understandable. And in maybe two months, the guy should have some blue's and hairless ready, which I want... XD
We had quite a bit of fun. But, like we've been doing quite a bit recently, we've been talking about Sarah (the girl he cheated on me with). And I said, for the first time ever, that he had treated me like shit for most of out relationship.
He is a lot better, and nicer now. He's so much different, and treats me better, and actually cares, I think. But this stuff still bothers me, and I still don't trust him.
I still think of what they did, and bring it up.
I read his facebook messages, text messages, saved conversations on msn, and the saved message between them on msn, I emailed to myself and have access to whenever I want now...
I know it's horrible for me to do, but what he did to cause me to be like this is horrible too.
I just wish there was a way for him to make it up to me for what he did, but there's nothing he could do to make it up to me. I can't forgive him, and I shouldn't. But I still want to be with him.
I don't really know what to write about though.. I just want to talk to someone, mainly him, or something...
I guess I'll go now...